Category fitness

Sometimes a random photo can make you smile

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Today was emotionally exhausting.

It’s been an emotionally hard week– in the anxiety-inducing way. Not in a bog panic attack way, but in the quiet worry eating you up inside way.

Tomorrow is Friday and out of my five goals I set for this week: I achieved one, ignored one, did the bare minimum on another, devoted 90% of my attention to the one and the final… Somehow, I forgot and thought I would do it tomorrow all at the same time.

So, I think tomorrow morning I’ll head over to Panera, have a good cup of coffee and force myself to do an hour of work on the project that I’ve been procrastinating and two hours-ish on the one I could have done more on.

I went grocery shopping yesterday. It’s probably not what everyday people consider grocery shopping but I went to Grocery Outlet and used their $5 off a $25 order coupon on $50 worth of groceries, half of which were for the Teenager who now has an ear infection after attending her first college fraternity party Friday night.

I snapped this photo while I was there because Stitch Fix always had these cookies in the breakroom and I got my trainer Andrew kind of hooked on them.

It felt good to at least get a few things into the house.

When I arrived home, I got the auto insurance bill last night and was shocked to learn my premium had gone up another 400– so that now for The Teenager and I it would cost $3785 for six months of car insurance.

This morning I had to call my former insurance carrier and see if they could beat the rate from my current one and they dropped it to less than half of what it was, though I took an increase in homeowners to do it but I now have better coverage. But that was a relief.

I also got a letter last night from OVR– the state Office of Vocational Services– confirming that I did indeed qualify for services and that I was classified as “most significantly disabled.” That’s merely a classification among the disabled people applying for service, which are also people looking for help with finding a job, receiving training or acquiring assistive technology. So, it’s a category within another specific category in a way.

But there’s a certain dehumanizing that happens with paperwork and services– and it doesn’t matter whether you are applying for a job, for disability-related services or care, or for food stamps. Just like in grant-writing, people and programs and outcomes are reduced to statistics and outcomes. Things that are measurable. Not the personalities or the feel-goodedness.

But then I look back to that photo of the cookies in Grocery Outlet and I can’t help but smile, because these are the moments of life that seem magical.

Welcome February or “Wow, it’s been a month!”

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I didn’t realize– or perhaps deep down inside I did– that I did not write in this blog at all in the month of January. I have written in the Parisian Phoenix blog, on my Substack, for the Lehigh Valley Armchair Substack, for Kiss and Tell magazine, for press releases and social media…

But not here.

I have spent much time applying for jobs, going on job interviews, and following up with second interviews, and working with my authors at our small publishing company, attending networking events, meeting with other writers and professionals, and grocery shopping at discount retailers like Grocery Outlet and the Dollar Tree.

(Grocery budget has been $25/week, but this week I splurged and bought a baker’s dozen bagels for $9.50 at Panera because they have a sale on Tuesday, and I used my CVS coupons and their sales to buy 2 boxes of KIND breakfast bars, a box of Grape Nuts and a box of Cocoa Krispies for $13.)

My personal favorite cheap meal this month has been these gnocchi from the Dollar Tree, served with a cream sauce I made with butter, lemon, and some artichoke hearts (using the oil they were marinated in). The artichoke hearts and the Barber Foods Chicken Stuffed with Broccoli and Cheese came from Grocery Outlet. The whole meal cost me about $3 per serving. And I used up some half and half that was on its last leg.

If it weren’t for car insurance for the teen and heat (I’ve been keeping the house at a balmy 60 degrees since I had to pay for $600 in furnace repairs in December), I have enough clients to keep me afloat indefinitely even after unemployment runs out in about six weeks. But the uncertainty of it all is hard. My biggest faux pas since my lay off was dropping the oil cap into the engine compartment of my car while topping off my fluids before a winter storm.

Luckily, good old Southern Candy and her son came to my aid and he fished it out for me– took him 45 minutes and the promise of the $50 cash I had in my wallet. I could hear my Dad laughing the entire time. I swear he’s been playing practical jokes on me from the afterlife with all of these little mechanical problems.

Like he’s checking to make sure I can take care of myself.

Sometimes, Daddy, I don’t know.

We had two snowstorms in January. During one of which, the first actually, one of the Teenager’s college friends spent the night. (Photo: Here they are at about 10 p.m. having a snowball fight with one of our neighbors, a high school friend of the Teen.) The College Friend hails from Los Angeles, so this was her first snow. And we bundled her up in home-knit hats and gloves and sent her out to shovel and play in my snow boots. Because Lord knows I am not going out in that if I don’t have to.

I drove over to the Bizzy Hizzy, the now nearly empty Stitch Fix warehouse, to show my daughter the old Freestyle and Pick carts that had been set out for the trash. The carts are laminated, corrugated cardboard so I imagined they deflated pretty badly in all the rain. I explained to her how we used to pick, and showed her the pencil cans we used to hold our water bottles and the heavy-duty page protectors that held the pack slips after installation of the Big Ass Fans blew them out of the carts. Three years, evaporated and erased.

I’m still working out with Andrew at Apex Training and meeting my strength goals even if I am failing at my weight goals. The Teen says I need to be more body-positive, but I know I am regularly showing more than 500 garbage calories into my body for the emotional sensation of it. And I also know that as someone with heart and mobility issues, being overweight is not helping.

In good news though, because I share so much about my journal both as someone with cerebral palsy and someone who finds strength training cool and empowering, several other members of my gym are now setting strength goals and strength training into their routines.

While visiting Nan the other day I got to meet a really cute dog. She’s a French sheep dog. Nan and her owner both told me her breed and now I don’t remember. I asked Siri and she suggested a Wheaten Terrier or a Goldendoodle and both of those are wrong. So, I googled French sheep dog breeds and it suggested a few and I immediately recognized the word “Briard.” And it is indeed a dog that would get stuck in briars.

And last week, the Echo City guys and I went out to Pints & Pies for burgers for the guys and pizza for me. It was a very tasty pizza. I have been dreaming of it and the cold Yuengling draft I had ever since.

Large Object, or more adventures with Nan

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

This morning, I had to emerge from my holiday fever dream for some reality– luckily, it was a meeting with my good friend, mentor and partner-in-crime Nan.

If you’re not a regular, Nan and I have been working together for a decade. I’m an author assistant of sorts for her. She’s congenitally blind and a super-talented writer and editor. That’s why she’s one of the team at Parisian Phoenix Publishing.

Nan had written an essay, a humorous essay, “Large Object,” about my daffy life and my ineptness with my own calendar.

I slightly overslept, perhaps because of my killer strength workout last night– I benched 100 pounds with Andrew at Apex Training to meet my “Christmas Challenge.”

It wasn’t a good lift– but it was two sloppy reps that I technically lifted off my chest.

What was even more exciting was the full-body engagement I experienced during the lift. I haven’t been taking my muscle relaxer, Baclofen, and my legs have been stiff (and I wonder if some other symptoms I have had recently relate back to skipping meds) so I cramped pretty badly during the lifts. I came home and took the Baclofen and have continued it today, especially since yesterday I had a small trip.

So by the time I hauled my butt from bed on this damp, rainy, uncharacteristically 50-degree December day, I decided to take a Wawa coupon and get a free egg white, cheddar, honey turkey and spinach Shorti (with hot honey for the condiment) and man was that both basic and satisfying. (My blood pressure has been high, and up until yesterday I had been completely forgoing caffeine but that’s another story.)

I then swung by Panera for my free iced coffee as a member of the Sips Club. I love Panera’s coffee. This all meant going to Nan’s house backwards– which was a tad confusing especially in the rain. Do you ever do that? Get confused because you’re going the opposite way as usual on familiar roads?

The essay Nan wanted to cover was, like I mentioned above, “Large Object.” I giggled so hard while typing this because she captured the whole scenario so vividly. She also allowed me to do some footage for TikTok to introduce her on our Parisian Phoenix TikTok account.

From her essay:

Angel had a doctor’s appointment, a writers’ group audit and a job interview already on her calendar. As she checked her upcoming days, she suddenly started to laugh.

“Oh my,” she said, “on Monday, my calendar says, ‘LARGE OBJECT.’ I have no idea what I meant.” 
I quipped, “What? The meteor will hit your roof? The dinosaur will arrive in your backyard Monday morning? Santa’s sleigh practicing badly?”

Nancy Scott

The essay mentioned our love of planners, and I told Nan I finally got around to reviewing all of them that I had ordered for 2024. Then, I showed her the “winner.” And once again she ooo-ed and ahh-ed and lamented that if she only had the sight to see these calendars. And one day, I promised we would look for Braille versions.

Upon returning home, I prepared the TikTok video and received some packages as part of the Amazon Vine program. Once was a surprise for the Teen. And it made her very happy. A corset. Frankly, I was relieved it fit.

The chiropractor, the dentist & the OVR counselor

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Greetings, my dear readers.

Today I had a lovely day with the chiropractor, then the dentist (then an iced coffee at Panera) and email exchanges with my OVR counselor.

So this will be a discussion of health, disability and my job search. I’m at the midpoint of my unemployment benefits and I’m freaking out a little.

Let’s back up…

I have only been visiting my beloved chiropractor (who used to be a physical therapist) Nicole Jenson of Back in Line Chiropractic and Wellness Center every three weeks or so, in part because without the physical labor of my warehouse job and without any complications in my gait I have not needed her. (And that’s kind of great because I also have terrible health insurance right now and no job.)

But today I went to see her, and she was very relieved to hear that my condition has been good and I have not had a fall since Sept. 30. And this was my second visit in a row with no symptoms to report. She was also very impressed with my progress with my fitness and strength coach Andrew at Apex Training. He has been pushing me hard with the weights and the core exercises all because of some pre-New Year’s resolutions we made at the gym.

  • Get weight under 150 (oh, how I was so close and failed so hard. I got down to 156 and stress ate my way to a new high)
  • Bench press 100 pounds (and I’m at 95 with more than a week to go)
  • Squat 150 pounds (Andrew sneaked this one in, and I have no idea if I’m near it)
  • Plank for 2 minutes (personal best currently at 1:10)

A dear friend pointed out that some of my exercise-induced asthma symptoms might actually be connected to caffeine intake, and Nicole definitely concurred that I needed to watch that also because of my balance issues.

And I’m still doing really well with balance and walking thanks to Andrew’s “lead with the knees” guidance.

After leaving Nicole’s, I headed to my six-month check up at the dentist. My dentist recently sold her practice– and she’s been my dentist for almost 35 years– but luckily the new dentist seems personable, smart and efficient. The staff complimented me on taking care of my beautiful teeth, to which I laughed and said, “really, let’s thank genetics because my dental habits are not what they once were.”

Then, at 1 p.m., I grabbed a KIND breakfast bar out of my bag for breakfast and headed through the Panera drive-through for an iced coffee. They offered a $3 per month subscription to their unlimited sip club for three months, and I love Panera’s iced coffee. So I treated myself. I had a meeting at Panera with the Echo City Team on Friday and I subscribed Friday a.m. I have since gone two more times.

By the time I got home, I had an email waiting from my OVR counselor. I decided that since I have some disability-related concerns about finding the right job for my next move, I would apply for assistance from the Office of Vocational Rehab. That way, the state knows I am doing everything I can to find a job. I spoke with my counselor on the phone yesterday, and had her chuckling. She said I am not her typical client, and in a way, it sounded like she was intrigued by seeing what she could do for me.

I compiled all the initial paperwork, and gave her another round today based on her subsequent requests. She’s had some interesting ideas on what her office might be able to do.

Then tonight at the gym, I was doing dumbbell rows with a 40-pound dumbbell and doing incline presses with a 35-pound dumbbell in each hand.

All things fitness, mobility and service dog

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

The last week or so I feel like my strength in the gym (Apex Training) has been dead on– the lifts have come easily and even as my feet/lower body doesn’t cooperate, I seem to get the job done without compromising my other body parts. Andrew, my fitness trainer and strength coach, has been a wonderful support and motivator as life has gotten dramatic and hectic for both of us.

Today I lifted a new PR on bench press– I am up to 80 pounds! As for flexibility and core strength, from my angle it fluctuates every day but Andrew points out a lot of his observations which suggest I am improving more than I might realize. I have noticed that I stumble less, even as my toes drag and my balance falters, knock on wood I have not fallen since Sept. 30.

I have gained back all of the weight I lost, between gin sours and peanut m&m’s and all sorts of chips from the Dollar Tree. And too much pizza! Even with The Teenager home after having her wisdom teeth plus a back molar removed, I’m still eating too much junk– milkshakes, cheese curds, the Wawa chicken fingers and french fries, Macs received for free with minimum purchase of a Diet Coke for me and a Sprite for the Teen all in the name of surgery recovery.

Meanwhile, I can see my muscles gain definition so I know if I’d stop putting junk in my body ALL THE TIME, I could really lean out and have great tone. But the immediate satisfaction of treats and savory, salty foods steals my discipline and knowledge every time.

As if that alone weren’t enough to kick my ass back where it needs to be, I’m starting to believe that the occasional out-of-breath episodes I’m having are symptoms of exercise-induced asthma. My allergies have been bad. The weight doesn’t help. And I noticed more and more that it comes on all of a sudden, even when I’m walking on a flat surface setting my own pace and not with anyone else, and I cannot get air into my lungs until I repeatedly take breaths through my nose and get a breath deep into my chest.

Today, it happened at the gym. I have never had anything like this happen at the gym. I was doing sets of 25 crunches on the exercise ball and really had trouble catching my breath at the end of the set. And I love those crunches! I normally knock them out like a beast!

Light Mobility Service Dog Update

Yesterday I was scheduled to meet with my caseworker at Susquehanna Service Dogs on Zoom. She asked if we could please reschedule for today and as I kept the end of the week open not knowing how the Teen would do with surgery, it worked out fine.

Today the Teen, myself and the caseworker met to discuss what my dog might be trained to do as a task for me, any concerns I might have, and some more updates about my lifestyle. The number one goal I have for this endeavor is to be able to go on walks by myself without fear. I miss my days of going for a 4-mile walk in the morning. I want that piece of mind. The other tasks that I asked for are help retrieving things from the ground when I can’t bend, carrying items I might have in my hand if I find myself struggling for balance, and getting a first aid kit if I need one.

Pregaming Thanksgiving

Angel Ackerman 1 Comment

If you miss my ridiculous banter, you may want to visit ParisianPhoenix.com because most of my activities now relate to the publishing company because I’m trying to develop enough business to make a living now that Stitch Fix has closed its Bethlehem warehouse.

Speaking of Stitch Fix, one of my friends who has gotten fixes religiously since I started with the company got an email today that whatever warehouse shipped her fix instead of ours did not scan the package as it left the facility so neither Stitch Fix nor the carrier has a record of it. Therefore, if she does not receive a fix today or tomorrow, she is to let them know as then they have reason to believe it is lost.

Yup. Did I ever mention that we were the most efficient, safest working warehouse in the network?

Random Cat Photo:
Touch of Gray

Anyway, back to my day. I started my day assisting the Teenager with course registration at her college. She is studying BS psychology and had a good plan. She had courses and backup courses and I planned on catching up with my NaNoWriMo word count (if you don’t know what NaNo is or you have opinions about the NaNo controversary, my take is here) before meeting Nan and a poet friend.

She could not get into ANY of her classes, nor ANY of her backups, nor ANY classes at all in her department. With my help, we found Intro to Women’s/Gender/Sexuality studies, Theory of Religion and Intro to Sociology. She’s also hoping– but probably doesn’t have a chance–to get into astronomy. The professor was on of her pet-sitting clients.

With this new course load, I think she should apply for an interdisciplinary major of her own design, the new BA in Cult Leadership.

I managed to pull 500 words for my novel before heading out to get Nan.

I decided to give Nan her “Christmas present” early. I put that in quotes because I would have gotten it for her regardless of the season. It kept popping up on the available Amazon Vine items that I can review. If you’ve heard about Nan enough, I probably don’t have to tell you she LOVES NASA. She has followed the space program since before man landed on the moon.

Nan won’t go out for the day if there’s a NASA event going on. She has cable simply so she can watch NASA TV.

I got her a decorative desk piece that has an astronaut on the moon with some sort of moon lander or rover. And the space suit has a ledge where you can place your cell phone and the lander thing is a pencil can. The most impractical gift for a blind person. It’s a sculpture you can’t see, with features for items you don’t use.

I’m relieved to say– she loved it. She loves that she can put her two pens that she keeps for sighted friends on her desk. She loves that the sculpture has enough detail that she can look at it. And she loves that for the first time, she has something space-themed she can display.

We took it up to her room and arranged it on her desk and headed to our appointment. We had made arrangements to meet a new friend, we’ll call her the Italian Poet. We were workshopping some of her poems.

Now here’s some motivation/inertia for you: If you write, paint, photograph, whatever, you must find others who share your artistic sensibilities and draw from their energy. Sometimes you share feedback, sometimes you seek inspiration together. Sometimes you learn, sometimes you teach. But the union of people in a space can build spirits and keep you going.

And after Italian Poet encouraged me to pursue my educational goals and I prodded her to finish her Ph.D., Nan and I embarked on our annual tradition: Gobbler bowls at Wawa.

We live a simple existence. Then we taste-tested a peppermint watermelon sparkling water. Nan did not approve. I did. But, as Nan says, I do seek out the weird stuff.

The Teenager used Nan and I for a photography project.

I went to the gym for leg day where I squat 120 pounds on the barbell for eight solid reps. Definitely liking that!’

When survival means blending the personal and the professional

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

This week I have been laid off for two months. It’s hard to believe how the time slips by so quickly. I look at my calendar, perplexed at how it can always be so full and wondering if it will ever yield anything of note. And perhaps it doesn’t even matter.

I haven’t offered much in the way of personal blogging recently. I have been piecing together clients, hustling to make a buck, volunteering and showing up more than I should in order that I might build relationships that go somewhere. I hope some of the ties I have forged in the last eight weeks will create the kind of ties that yield interpersonal rewards even if they don’t present professional ones. Because in the end, if you foster the personal relationships, people trust you with their business.

But I realized yesterday, that I spend probably 8-12 hours a day reading, writing and/or editing and my poor brain never gets a break. So, I called Southern Candy and invited her over. She brought our favorite doughnuts (ours meaning she, myself, and The Teenager; flavor, sour cream) and despite the fact that I had a discount milkshake from Sheetz for lunch, I had a dougnut for dinner.

It looks like I gained back every ounce of weight I had lost since the gym initiated its Christmas resolutions challenge. With about eight weeks to go, my hopes of reaching my goal had dwindled thanks to free Big Macs and too much Dollar Tree snack products.

My mobility has been rocky. When my gait is stable, my pain seems high. When I’m not in pain, I tend to fall. Since I’m unemployed, I applied for medical assistance and if approved, maybe I could do some physical therapy. I can always use physical therapy.

As if reading my mind, I received an email today from my caseworker at Susquehanna Service Dogs about creating my Personal Placement Plan or my P3. I scheduled that Zoom meeting for the end of the month and have to say it’s exciting to think about what my service dog might be able to do.

It’s also interesting to see how different people react to a lay-off. I’ve had people seem as if there’s something wrong with me that I haven’t found a new job yet. I’ve had friends and clients ask if The Teenager and I are financially okay. And I’ve heard some interesting news that some people think they know and influence my financial affairs even though they haven’t spoken to me since before the lay-off.

The holidays are coming up, with Thanksgiving kicking off the season next week, and with so many family members who seem to have disappeared, including my mother and stepmother who don’t reach out to me anymore and I don’t understand why, I’ll be trying to create my own traditions and my own sense of what I want my life to be. But sometimes, and lately more often than usual, I miss my family.

100 by Christmas

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment
Yes, that’s Andrew and I

My trainer Andrew announced that he thought I could bench 100 lbs by Christmas. This was after I benched 80 lbs for three solid reps. It was a new personal record for me and another reinforcement that I have regained strength in 2023, despite the health issues.

I told him that after the Christmas season challenges we already have listed on the public goal board at the gym, we need to add the next goals for my birthday in late May and another set for my 50th birthday in 2025.

But, even while my strength increases, my stress eating continues. Now, I aim for 1300-1500 calories a day so that even if I “binge” I don’t do too much damage. Nowadays, I often hit 2000 calories only on a bad eating day.

Today for breakfast I did not go for my usual bagel with cream cheese, avocado or even more decadent brie. I had one serving of Cabot cottage cheese (it’s very decadent and smooth), a golden kiwi, about a cup of raspberries, and a cold matcha latte, my style, made with sweetened matcha powder, unflavored whey powder and unsweetened, organic coconut milk that was delightfully hearty and robust. The breakfast came to 400 calories– including the cup of coffee with half and half I had four hours earlier (and come to think of it, I never finished it. Not only did it have lots of satisfying fat to tide me, but it also had 27 grams of protein.

I have a networking event I plan to attend later in the day, at a brewery, so I had lunch at 2 p.m. and decided to stay with the high protein low cal effort. I used a whole wheat tortilla to hold almost a cup of chopped romaine lettuce and a serving of Penn Valley homestyle chicken salad. I added a small glass of diet Ocean Spray ruby red grapefruit juice and a dessert– Chobani zero sugar Greek yogurt. That meal was a little more than 400 calories and also 27 grams of protein, but I did not finish the yogurt.

Tomorrow I have a working interview, my second, for a job where I would need black pants. So, yesterday Southern Candy, The Teenager and I went to the thrift store. My four pairs of pants came to about $8, and three of them fit.

The Reunion Dilemma

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Tonight is my 30th High School Reunion, scheduled in the casual and amazing environment of Richmond Brewing. Our classmates own the establishment and have agreed to let us assemble and celebrate without a lot of formal to-do.

But I don’t know if I’m going to go.

I was on the reunion committee. I love the food and the beer at Richmond Brewing. It should be fun.

But I’m stressed and if I’m honest, I’m scared. And I think this is probably the first time I really wished my service dog was already here. Because having that dog would relieve some of the physical barriers to attending, which might help my emotional issues.

I’m already showered and dressed and ready to mingle. But I’m struggling with my own mobility today– which if you aren’t a regular reader I have diplegic spastic cerebral palsy which means I have issues controlling my legs. Last weekend I took a medium fall. I didn’t do any permanent damage, though I did damage my expensive glasses, probably delayed healing of my sprained right pinky, and got myself some nasty bruises and bumps on the head.

But today I fell again. This is is going to sound ridiculous (my trainer Andrew can probably vouch for me here, I think he’s seen it happen) but I can’t pick up my feet today. Primarily my right one. It’s dragging. It got caught in the cracks between the sidewalk and down I went. No damage, my Apple Watch didn’t even alert.

Which is probably a good thing as I’ve been enrolled in the Women’s Heart Health and Mobility Study at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Massachusetts and when I fall and my watch registers it, they call to check on me. I talked with them for a half hour on Monday.

I fell on the way to the gym, and my workout went fine, although at the same time, I struggled with some muscle control.

I went over to the Christ United Methodist Church for their craft and vendor fair where Joe Swarctz, our fearless illustrator and the creator of Echo City Capers, was selling the latest in children’s books. I didn’t fall, but every bump on the sidewalk or imperfection in the floor challenged my balance.

The Teenager has to work tonight, so I’ll be on my own for the reunion tonight. And I’m scared. It’s about 30 minutes up there, and with my recent layoff gas money is tight, plus I won’t be able to have a beer. And it would have been my father’s 75th birthday today, if he were still with us, so that has me in a horrible, dejected mood.

If I had my service dog, I would feel safer. I would at least feel more secure about my ability to navigate walking. And I would know that I would have another living thing there that could help me if something did happen. I know that all of my classmates at the Reunion would be helpful, but there’s a certain comfort from those who already know what you need and how to help. Because it’s a dreadful feeling when you have an accident in public, and people want to help and no one quite knows what to do or they do too much or the wrong thing.

I’m not sure what to do, but I know the choice is stressing me out.

But if my balance is already significantly compromised, I don’t know if traipsing around an old barn is a good idea.

4 months and 1 day

Angel Ackerman 3 Comments

I want to keep this one short. I spent a couple hours on a Substack newsletter for Parisian Phoenix (read that here), handled some business, watched some TV, did some job applications and folded some wash. I’m starting a new project for an important client tomorrow and attending some classes on websites, Google and SEO practices.

Yesterday, I attended the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group meeting, then ran up to Stroudsburg to support William Prystauk’s horror novel release for The Hanging Girl. From there, the teenager and I stopped at Wawa for a snack before heading to The End: A Bookstore to meet up with Ralph and Joe of Echo City Capers fame.

Speaking of fame, Joe made an appearance on Channel 69 Weekend Edition of the Morning News.

But then, upon leaving The End, the Teenager hopped over a tiny pile of stones to avoid going the long way to the parking lot. I followed. And my good/stronger ankle went out on me, causing me to slip in my slightly healed walking boots, and somehow I bounced off Joe’s parked car, narrowly avoided a concrete parker marking with rebar sticking out of it and smashed my right hand, nose, glasses and face into the macadam.

It’s been four months and a day since my last fall.

My gait was perfect. My blood pressure has been trending higher, but remains in the neighborhood of 120/70 vs the former 110/65. My heartrate and EKG are fine. I just fell. Tired from overbooking, stress from losing my job, awkwardness because of the rain, or all of it who knows. Life with cerebral palsy. Heading home with a fat lip and a bloody nose.

I did take a chunk out of my expensive glasses. The metal frame of the bridge cut up my nose. And the hand I f*cked up when I dove down the steps March 1 at Stitch Fix, it’s set back a ways on recovery. It’s torn up again.

But sometimes you have to remind yourself to be grateful.

Speaking of grateful, if you follow my Instagram you may have seen this fabulous hot lunch of Maruchen Teriyaki noodles, peas, Lightlife tempeh and fresh spinach I made for The Teenager and I at a cost of about $2.50 per serving. And 30+ grams of protein.

I am also grateful that Giant has a store brand version of Bush’s Vegetarian Baked Beans as the family size can of Bush’s was on sale for $3.09 and the generic was $1.69. The Teenager says the generic tasted exactly the same. I can’t give it that much of a rave review, but I can report it was a successful substitution. What disappointed me though was the honey beans I bought on clearance at Grocery Outlet.