Mental Exhaustion

I’m proud of my daughter. I’m proud of her teachers. I’m proud of her school district.

This was the first week of her traditional public high school functioning virtually. She started strong.

She struggled a bit with geometry.

She downloaded all the apps she needed and kept up with all the work.

But yesterday her dad’s internet proved unreliable then my provider had an outage throughout our entire neighborhood.

Today she got up at 8 a.m. We both started work then, and neither of us finished. I clocked out at 6:15, after problems with the work server all afternoon.

Over dinner, at 7 pm, my daughter mentioned that she was exhausted even though she wasn’t tired.

I explained that was mental exhaustion.

“Now I understand how you feel when you get home from work,” she said.

I mentioned that’s why I watch so much Gordon Ramsay. Mindless.

My HP elitebook arrived today. My daughter got it charged and working and on the internet.

She brought it to be and I downloaded the remote server file for work.

I worked on the new machine for about 3 hours but I kept having issues. It didn’t occur to me that the work server was having problems. So when I saw the message that I had windows updates I restarted.

When I came upstairs, it was still lingering on the screensaver.

I had a stressful week so I hope the computer isn’t broken.

It wasn’t supposed to arrive until sometime between April 7 and 10. So it was 4 days early.

This beauty and reaching the dark side

Tomorrow will mark two weeks since I started working from home due to the Coronavirus.

I have left the house six times in the last two weeks— three times for work: once to go to the office, once to go to Staples, and once to go to the post office. Once to take a walk and once to walk to CVS to get my prescription.

I reached my one year anniversary today in the small non-profit where I work in the development office. I was hired in a communications position, and four months later promoted to a more directly fund-raising/grant writing position. And for the first five months I was the only person in the department. And this field is new to me.

So the last year has been a whirlwind, stressful and exhausting before you even consider that my husband moved out nine months ago and I live with my teen daughter, two cats, two kittens, three parakeets and a cockatoo.

I’m relishing the stillness of the Covid-19 worth. I enjoy my home as the epicenter of my universe. I love seeing how the technology forces our creativity.

But today I did the unthinkable. Something I swore I would never ever do. Something entirely against my principles and completely disgusting to me.

I bought a laptop— and it wasn’t a Mac. My last laptop was a MacBoor Air 2013 that traveled the world with me. My first computer ever was a PowerBook 165 in 1994.

But now my boss has signaled that she anticipates us working from home through the end of April. And it’s not fair to continue to borrow my just-about-ex-husband’s laptop. And the child needs her MacBook Air to do her schoolwork now.

My mom offered to buy me a laptop for my birthday— so I ordered a refurbished HP Elitebook for $300. A refurbished MacBook would have been twice the cost. Honestly, for work, Microsoft Remote Server works better on the PC. And I know that if I leave this job I will never touch this PC again.

And that’s okay with my daughter, she already has plans for it.