The Return-to-Work Dilemma

I’ll try to keep this brief, as it is late, and I don’t want to disrupt my sleep schedule. Okay, so it’s 9:30 p.m., but I do plan on returning to work this week so I can’t be partying like a hooligan. I was supposed to return-to-work tomorrow, but I have been having issues this weekend, similar to the issues I had on Wednesday.

I woke up lightheaded– and it took me more than TWO HOURS to drag my body out of bed. I also took my blood pressure when changing positions since the doctor wondered if I might be experiencing postural hypertension. I reviewed my doctor’s notes from Wednesday’s visit, and he said to contact him if my systolic blood pressure fell below 110. It’s been below 110 most of the weekend.

the cake is a bunny

I felt almost drunk. That’s the only way I can describe it.

So I said “F**k it,” and made coffee and had cake for breakfast, thinking maybe I didn’t eat enough with my 6 a.m. meds.

My blood pressure went lower.

I called out sick for tomorrow and maybe Tuesday. I want to talk to my doctor about these numbers first. And I have a blood test Tuesday that I also might want to know the result of before we end this leave.

The Teenager channeled the 90s in her attire today: Vans, fishnets, distressed denim shorts, a crop top and a flannel. I wondered if she should have been part of my college friend group instead of my offspring.

So I did a lot of computer work– which went slowly because my brain fog was so thick when I paused to make toast and eggs (to balance out the cake), I started doing dishes, forgot to turn on the water, struggled with how to make the hot water work, and then almost forgot the toast in the Cuisinart air fryer/toaster oven.

Luckily my cleaned, rearranged bedroom is cozy. So I spent quite a bit of time up there– until the dog spooked the cats and trampled poor old Opie. Louise meanwhile protected him. And apparently, she thinks the air purifier is for her benefit.

I just had to hop on and point out that not knowing what is going on doesn’t bother me, going for random tests doesn’t bother me, but not knowing when my symptoms are dangerous is terrifying. Because these falls seem like they should be easy to prevent. Instead my own body wants to catapult me to the floor.

I feel silly calling out of work. I worry, as anyone does, about money. I don’t want to be “the boy who cried ‘wolf,'” but I don’t want to get hurt worse next time. Because these are getting more dramatic.

Meanwhile, another item my doctor suggested was drinking electrolyte beverages throughout the night. I have some packets of Propel, which I might move to my purse for travel or work. I also bought PowerVitamin Electrolyte Power Plus supplement. I got raspberry, but now I really want lemonade and watermelon. I have been so hydrated even after taking a multi or overnight my urine doesn’t turn dark.

I keep the powder in my bedroom and mix it in the evening into my Sigg metal water bottle with the metal screw on top (from my bicycle). Minimizes threat of spills.

And speaking of my room (for the third time), we removed my old rug (I’m going to need a new one or to refinish my hardwood floors. The teen cut it into strips and placed them in the trash. They look very cool.

The Grateful Friday

Yesterday I cleaned a lot of my downstairs and had a relatively good work out at Apex. I haven’t felt incredibly strong lately, but my IUD must be working because I’m not in pain.

I had a good week at work, so cleaning, working on Parisian Phoenix projects and watching Cobra Kai suited me just fine yesterday.

I even found two of the dog’s Kong balls under the couch which made for a very happy dog.

Today, I was supposed to have my annual physical but my doctor’s office called yesterday and rescheduled for next week— which also means another week without answers from my CT scan and physiatrist referral. Neither the neurologist nor the physiatrist’s office has called me back.

And I need a doctor that can help me understand the motion and mechanics of my body, and not just its individual parts.

Today I scrubbed the exterior of the stove and did dishes. Then I went to help my blind friend Nan with some errands and grocery shopping.

We made plans to pick up some pizza at Little Caesars so Nan could try the Batman Calzony. No matter how I tried I couldn’t explain what it was to the blind lady. So we bought one.

But we had time to kill before the teenager got out of school even after we put groceries away. We grabbed the dog and got drinks and hash browns (for the dog) at Dunkin.

And then we surprised the teenager with the dog at school.

Then Joan stopper by to drop off some hand-me-down magazines and erotica, cupcakes and photos that Joan needed us to sort.

Now, I’m cuddling with Louise, watching Gotham Garage and enjoying kitten photos.

All the Things

I don’t know whether I should apologize, explain my absence or dive right into this messy, stream of consciousness blog entry. Nothing new is happening but so many little things have brought joy to my life.

I had a great week at the Bizzy Hizzy. I spent most of my week in QC, and I hit 80% of the daily production metric except for one day when I hit 90 percent. But I just can’t seem to replicate that success. Last night I was in receiving inbound processing where I unboxed and received a pallet which included Democracy Jeans and Market and Spruce shirts. I caught a mix-up in tags. And I met a young man whose name is an abbreviated form of Jesus’ Angel because he was born three months premature as I was.

A few nights ago, I was listening to a podcast, probably Mayim Bailik’s Breakdown. They were discussing the ACE Childhood Trauma Test. So I took it. That was a mistake. It made me think about a lot of things— my past, my mental health, my relationships. I didn’t expect the results and I suppose in a way it was profound.

But as much as life may have had some dark spots, the foster cats sure bring joy. Hermes of the Greek Pride is already starting to bound with his new dad. (And even broke something expensive.) Louise the Tripod had a meet and greet with someone interested in adding a new cat to their household. And Parker and Extra Crunchy of ten little kittens are now playing and acting cat-like. Even Touch of Grey seems cheerful.

Evening with Louise

Videos:

Parker and Extra Crunchy

Touch of Grey

I picked up my new glasses, replacing my previous pair. I have abandoned my sexy librarian look and regained depth perception.

New glasses

On another podcast, I heard a host discuss someone who wrote a memoir from her 20 journals. What a joke! He said 20 as if that number is impressive. I have been journaling for 30 years! I lost count after 100 volumes.

Speaking of journals, I splurged on a Silk and Sonder self-care planner/journal. It’s a monthly subscription and I am already anxious that it will stress me out. My regular journal is more or less a bullet journal now. I think another book that requires a daily check in might not be worth the pressure. And it’s $20/month. That seems expensive. More to come. Including unboxing and review.

Speaking of unboxing, I bought myself a Lite Brite in a moment of nostalgia. #NoRegrets

Video: Unboxing my Lite Brite

The copyrights for my novels so as soon as they return from the proofreader we can start production and get Parisian Phoenix off the ground. Expect my novels hopefully this summer!

And if you miss my Goffin’s cockatoo Naughty Nala, she was in a mood today! Video: Nala steals my underwear

My neighbor let me know I appeared in Lisa Boscola’s newsletter for my role in delivering her public service award given by ASPIRE to Autonomy.

And last in a long line of rambling, I reviewed the Dunkin Double Coconut Macchiato: Video Here