Tag nutrition

Seasonal summary and hoping for new beginnings

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

My daughter is in the garage doing yoga right now– an old set of yoga DVDs I found on a discount pile somewhere 20 years ago. I used to used those DVDs once or twice a day, each routine a mere 20 minutes, and its impact huge on my body. I should be out there with her right now, but although it is 8:30 in the morning on a Sunday, I am already knee-deep in work. So maybe after my 9 a.m. meeting I will give it a go on my own.

I’ve had some successes in life lately, but health and fitness is not one of them. I’ve been struggling with my mobility since before my trip to Ireland in March. Some of that is due to lack of movement in my routine. Some is due to lack of chiropractic care and not enough stretching. Some is weight.

But now I’m experiencing more and more symptoms of anemia. What started as mistyping words– not misspelling but using completely different words: “basket” coming out of my fingers instead of “basic” and “winter” instead of “window”– has nos (and I just typed “not” instead of “now”) escalated to incidents of brain fog (driving past the bank instead of to the bank) and drinking too many caffeinated beverages without feeling their impact and literally not being able to keep my eyes open at 2 or 3 p.m. despite having healthy sleep hygiene and getting to bed on time. And all of these symptoms get worse with the heat and the sun. Which is also classic anemia.

I scheduled my annual blood work for tomorrow morning at 6:45 a.m. It’s not due until September so the insurance company will probably love that. I also left a message for my chiropractor, Nicole Jensen at Back in Line, because even though it puts a strain on my finances, I need the care.

My right leg is definitely leaning into its femoral anteversion, and the best way I can describe it is like I have a tree trunk instead of a leg that I’m dragging around. And then once it’s a little straighter and not locked into a weird position, any yoga I do will help keep things limber.

I started taking my vitamins last week: vitamin D/calcium with breakfast, iron with lunch, and vitamin C with dinner if I remember).

I’ve also cleaned up my diet and I think I can say that except for breakfast with Laurel at Panera on Tuesday, all food has been prepared at home. I have tried to make sure I get more fresh fruits and vegetables and include a protein with every meal. With this routine, I have lost five pounds this week. And I know that is all the sodium/water weight leaving my system. But if I with another 7 pounds off this summer, I could be at the weight I was last fall when I saw my primary care physician last fall.

Both Eva and I have struggled with motivation to eat so far this spring/summer season… We’ve both been busy, stressed and exhausted. Eva’s taking an online American Sign Language class through Purdue University and her midterm is tomorrow. It’s really cool to watch her learn. And to help her study.

We’ve both taken to finding items that are easier to eat. Often these are easy-to-grab meat products and snacks for her, and meal-prepped items like overnight oats for me. Last night we both needed something for dinner so I made tuna fish sandwiches which also helped us use some of the aging iceberg lettuce in the fridge. I’ve been adding kale to everything I can, especially pasta and eggs. My other coup was a make-your-own quesadilla bar– I had flour tortillas, corn tortillas and refried beans from the dollar store, all items I keep on hand (in addition to beans I cooked from dry and froze, in seven different varieties); we had lettuce, tomato, and onion left over from burger night; and on a whim, I had just purchased sour cream and a huge block of cheddar. We even had fresh limes to give everything a citrus kick.

Speaking of food, I’ve been tracking my food in the Omada app again. I still believe the Omada program is a waste. If you have issues with food and weight and health and don’t have a previous understanding of nutrition I can’t see it helping. It only helps me because it reminds me what I’ve eaten, how I’m trending and gives me some basic nutritional summaries. But the fact that my insurance company gets charged $30/month just because I stepped on a scale is nuts. My coach is really good, but for the most part she can’t tell me anything I don’t already know.

So much of health is making the hard and responsible choices.

And doing what you need to do.

It’s also the only app/system that gets worse over time. Their AI-driven logging system can’t identify basic foods, and when you try to edit the listings with information from the actual label, it just ignores you. Omada does not believe in tracking calories. It encourages instead you make better, educated decisions based on your hunger and how you feel. I understand that calorie-counting can lead to some psychological issues, but in the end, weight loss is math. They do track fiber, added sugar, protein and saturated fat. But not sodium. If you have a chronic weight or heart problem, you need to understand sodium.

And they encourage you to aim for 50% nutritous. I average 50% on any given day. Today I’m at 57% so far, but I’m due for lunch. That may change. Now, if you know me, you know– I try to make my meal choices as close to vegan and minimally processed as possible. I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with Eva, and trying to eat 2800 calories in six meals a day with no sugar on a vegetarian diet got me very bored. Thank God I decided to incorporate tuna into my routine. I can still remember some of those routines. My ten-thirty a.m. snack was large curd cottage cheese and usually strawberries or raspberries and my 8 p.m. snack was decaf coffee and unsweetened soy milk. (I had to do something to make the “milk” drinkable.) I still can’t look at a plate of food without seeing its protein and carbohydrate estimates in my head.

screenshot of the Omada app showing the list of protein, fiber, fat and sugar stats

Most people don’t have my experiences. And I know myself. For instance, if I eat a meal out, even if I make the good choices, I will gain 3 pounds the next day.

Most people don’t stay invested in their choices like I do– so if I only eat 50% nutritious, how does a standard American diet rank? I wouldn’t want to know.

So far today, I have had:

  • about 16 ounces iced coffee with a healthy pour of half and half. (That comes in at 50% because the coffee is considered a healthy drink, even if I drink it at every meal. The half and half on the other hand is not nutritious, because of its saturated fat content, but it has calcium, vitamin D and protein and isn’t sweetened or processed like other creamers.)
  • For breakfast, a little more than half an apple with skin on, with cinnamon sugar and mixed nuts. Water, 30 ounces, and one scoop of my Powdervitamin electrolyte powder which has no calories, is the most dense with minerals and salt, and sweetened with stevia. But because of the sugar on my apples and the powder, that again ranks my meal as only 50% nutritious. I could have used a processed caramel fruit dip or an icing and Omada would have ranked my choice as just as it did when I added just a touch of sugar. And the electrolyte powder gets treated like a sugary Gatorade even though I need that supplement to prevent orthostatic hypotension because I don’t eat many sodium-rich foods and I drink so much water. How many other people drink 50+ ounces of fluid before 9 a.m.????

My plan remains simple… More movement, more yoga, eating at home, and not eating due to stress. And in a few months or maybe a year I will write a blog post like this. Again. Which I do so frequently. As I struggle and fail and disappoint myself. But permanent change is a long game and it’s hard when the only person who holds the power and the motivation is yourself.

The close-out of my medical fitness program

Angel Ackerman 1 Comment

Monday is my last session as part of the Thrive medical fitness program at St. Luke’s. Working with the trainers in the program has reminded me of some hard truths– and the part that’s hard is the reality of your own habits and thinking patterns.

The numbers show some nice progress. I lost four pounds of fat and gained one pound of muscle. (And had I eaten better imagine what those numbers could have been.) My blood pressure according to their records has stayed the same, but based on my home readings has gone down and requires less medication. The strength-based tests– well, I kicked butt.

I certainly feel better, and stronger, though I still have work to do on my cardiofitness. That won’t really improve until I commit to more cardiovascular exercise, even if it is just walks around the neighborhood. I would love to return to riding my bike again, but there’s a fear factor there. It’s an activity I don’t want to do alone, which is also true of walking.

But here are the lessons:

  • When my body hurts and locks up, strength-training stretches all those muscles and gets rid of the pain.
  • I can only lose about a pound a week if I eat well and exercise at least three times a week. Diet alone won’t do it. And my food choices don’t have to be perfect but they have to be solid.
  • Salt is my nemesis. Too little and I experience orthostatic hypotension and lightheadedness, too much and I end up with as much as five pounds water weight.
  • I must be choosy about my fast food. Domino’s or Little Caesars pizza will put me in a coma, and I will sleep so well, but the impact will show on my heart rate, blood pressure and weight. Wing Stop has no benefits, only the effects of the salt. I now keep various processed chicken products in the freezer because while they are not a wholesome choice, I can make my own sauces to replicate Wing Stop and save the truly detrimental health effects. Taco Bell in small doses can be tolerated, and I usually get a cheap box deal and make the items all vegetarian. It adds some extra fiber and vegetable matter to the mix.
  • And out of all the fast food chains– I can navigate the menu at Chick-Fil-A and not notice any real impact. Their fruit cup and kale crunch salad, especially when paired with grilled nuggets, are solid choices. They also have a chicken (or vegetarian) cool wrap, which, while it is calorie dense, is easy and quick to eat– with a good portion of lettuce and cabbage. (Yes, they also have amazing salads, but those big salads are realistically three portions. That’s a lot of salad and chicken. A lot.)

Do I have the discipline to not only continue but improve upon this progress? I don’t know. Honestly. IF I made a commitment to meal planning and cooking, I could. But with money and time always an issue, I don’t know. With stress leading me to seek comfort in my favorite foods– did you know they have Sour Patch Kid Jelly Beans? Eva says they flipped Sour Patch Kids inside out… With fatigue influencing my choices– caffeine and sugary carbohydrates, anyone?

Will I get up in the morning, drink a glass of water, and commit to some sort of exercise in my home gym?

Damned if I know.

Stay tuned.

Gunk and other updates

Angel Ackerman 1 Comment

It is Saturday, December 28, around 8:30 a.m. when I start this. Do not expect much eloquence from me, as the gunk Eva passed on to me from her recent illness is still interfering with my ability to think and sleep. It has instead given me a lovely cough, which now after more than a week is getting “wet” and “productive.”

I FINALLY finished my medical intake at the St. Luke’s Medical Fitness program. Because of my paused membership, I’m not sure when my end date in the Thrive program is but let’s assume mid-February for now. This whole journey started in early November when I visited my neurologist-physiatrist to talk to her about my recent mobility issues and any concerns she had about me returning to an exercise program.

The older I get, the more I worry that my cerebral palsy will cause me to hurt myself because I tend not to notice when my body is doing the wrong things.

Eva has worked really hard on remodeling the garage and including a space for a home gym, so I need to pay some attention to myself in that regard. But I’m out of shape, and falling more than usual, so I’m scared.

My neurologist referred me to the medical fitness program, and I had my first medical intake appointment on November 11. My blood pressure spiked during that appointment, so they sent me home without doing the baseline exercise portion of the intake. I returned two days later, and they almost sent me to the ER because my blood pressure was still bad.

Here are the previous entries recalling all of that, when it was happening.

Two trips to the primary care doctor, two trips to the cardiologist, and two or three falls (depending how you count, one was a trip, but I still believe it happened because of balance issues which makes it a fall) later, my blood pressure seems under control again.

And of course, yesterday, when I turned up at the gym in the basement of the hospital, it was 130/90.

Since I’ve been fighting the gunk, I almost canceled the appointment, but I filled a water bottle with my electrolyte flavor, grabbed a scarf, forgot a mask, and hopped in the car. My fear was that if I canceled the appointment, the intake would have to wait until after my colonoscopy and I was worried that one thing would lead to another and I’d never get this done.

When I arrived, I forgot my water bottle in the car, still couldn’t find a mask, and realized I had no idea where my membership/gym tag was. In the back of my mind, I knew I had packed a gym bag at my last attempt and that the tag was in the gym bag. But where was the gym bag? And what bag did I use?

Lots of hand sanitizer and frequent hand washing and I refused to shake the young man’s hand. I also told him if I continued to cough and he had to send me home, I understood. But I reiterated that I had had many trials to get to this point and I would rather be sent home than continue the cycle of not trying.

Onto the fancy scale I went (168) and I know that body fat percentage was in the forties, wish I could remember what it was when I was super lean a decade ago. Turns out that information may only exist in paper journals in my attic.

39-year-old Angel … with something to prove before hitting 40

The Angel in the pictures is 45 pounds lighter than me, and I think those 45 pounds, age and stress have had a ridiculous impact on my blood pressure and my mobility. (And for the record– the sweatpants worn by Angel in the pictures were my favorite sweatpants ever.)

I have learned that my body reacts strongly to salt and sugar, and that I “do better” when I cook, and that I have no self-control with processed snack foods like potato chips and doritos.

The trainer I met with yesterday talked about maximum heart rate and how hearts slow down as we age. The highest my heart rate reached in 2024, according to my AppleWatch, was 186. 207 was the highest since I got the watch. The online calculators I have seen suggest that my maximum heart rate for my age is between 170 and 179.

The trainer, and maybe his name was Ryan but maybe I invented that, would like to see me four times a week. I still have the mental mindset to make this work, but my physical stamina and fortitude have worn me out to the point where I can talk myself out of my own efforts.

I found this post from when I started my journey with Apex Training in 2021.

Maybe, someday, I will get my discipline under control and be one of those old ladies who powerlift. Screw the whole red hat/purple dress thing.

Meanwhile, Monday is my first colonoscopy. It was supposed to be the Monday after Thanksgiving but the doctor had a death in the family. Tomorrow I start my official bowel prep, and it scares me, because I get shaky without food, and low blood pressure without salt, and I already have a mobility disability. Then they will knock me out on Monday, and I tend to have a heavy reaction to medications and anesthesia. So none of this makes me comfortable. The actual colonoscopy, that doesn’t scare me. But everything else does.

So tomorrow, unless I experience miraculous healing today, I will be expelling mucus from my lungs and all the poop from my bum.