Tag thrive program

Stairs make me cry

Angel Ackerman 1 Comment

The hardest part about any health or fitness journey is forming better habits. The exercise isn’t hard. Taking your medicine or vitamins isn’t hard. Heck, if you have a balance of choices in your house, healthy eating isn’t hard.

Fighting with your bad habits is hard. Discipline is hard. Showing up is hard.

Once you walk in the door, going to the gym isn’t hard. Once you have a plan and get the ingredients out of the refrigerator, meal prep isn’t hard.

But change, change is damn hard.

I had two workouts this week with Alex at the Thrive Medical Fitness program at St. Luke’s Hospital. My first was Wednesday, and my second was Friday. I felt good after my first, but man oh man did my body hurt after the second one.

My next workout isn’t until Tuesday afternoon, so I found myself thinking that in order to maintain momentum I should do something today (Sunday). Because at this stage in the game any action that helps reinforce a consistent change in behavior is necessary.

So I contacted Greg at Apex Training and asked if he was hosting his Sunday morning boot camp at 8:30 a.m. The boot camp is drop-in and costs $10. I have never attended one of Greg’s boot camp programs, because I typically spent Saturday morning at the gym with Andrew. And a body needs a chance to recover.

Of course, Greg basically told me to get my ass over there, and so I did. What I love about my time at Apex is that all of the guys and all of the regulars are genuinely enthusiastic and helpful, and we’re all a tad sadomasochistic, which is of course part of what makes us successful. Plus the gym is a slow ten-minute walk from my house. The walk there and back is my warm-up and cool-down.

You see, even if I got to the gym this morning, did one set of exercises and left, it would have been a win. Because the goal was to get up, go out in the cold, and walk over. Once you achieve that mental hurtle, the rest is easy. At this point, I want to encourage myself to do something every other day and to increase my steps, not because of my steps per se, but for heart/cardio health.

And I know some people will use exercise as a reason to “reward” themselves with “cheat” or “treat” foods– but I’m the opposite. If I’m working out, I’m more prone to not sabotage my progress.

And, because I’m stubborn, I survived Greg’s workout.

But the way my body feels, I’m already struggling to get up the stairs.

But that’s how it works.

Did I just flunk out of fitness?

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I started my new fitness journal Monday and have been making good choices, tracking my activity and walking the dog everyday.

Each day my number of steps increases by about 500 and today I made it up an extra bend of stairs before I was out of breath– Nan lives on the third floor and I always take the stairs instead of the elevator.

I’ve reduced my caffeine intake, resumed taking my beta blocker and have taken my baclofen regularly. Today was my second try to finish my intake for the Thrive Medical Fitness Program at St. Luke’s Hospital. I even arrived 15 minutes early, used the restroom and sat in the waiting room imagining petting my cat, Fog, and listening to his purr.

They wouldn’t let me finish the intake on Monday because of high blood pressure and heart rate and I was determined to do everything I could to come in on target.

Well.

My heart rate passed.

My blood pressure, despite several attempts by more than one person over a course of 20 minutes, did not. They asked several times if I had any symptoms– and I said no because I didn’t. They asked several times. And the last time my trainer emphasized if you have any symptoms at all I will accompany you to the E.R. right now. They let me go home with a promise that I would call my primary care physician and go talk to them tomorrow. And they instructed me to take my blood pressure as soon as I got home.

My numbers there were: 180/120, 180/117 and 160/110.

I came home and the numbers had fallen: 123/91, then 116/82, and finally 115/71.

I went to the bench outside the hospital and called my primary care physician from there. The office is on the way home from the hospital and it was only 4:30 p.m. so if they had concerns they could have me come immediately to the office or stay at the hospital.

I have an appointment for 8:45 a.m. tomorrow.

And the staff at the fitness center thanked me for being so flexible and understanding, acknowledging that the whole situation must be frustrating, but getting angry about it won’t help me– or my blood pressure.

Honestly, I think my body is just anxious about being in/near the hospital.

So we’ll see what my primary care physician’s office says tomorrow.

Fitness strike out

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I had my intake for the Thrive medical fitness program at St. Luke’s Hospital. I did not finish all of the required testing because my heart rate and blood pressure were too high.

But let’s back up. Perhaps things aren’t as “all or nothing” as I feel right now– I feel like in many areas of my life I am “failing” or “losing” and the reality is that life is more complex than that.

I was soooo excited to join the Thrive Medical Fitness program, and I still am. The staff seems pleasant and supportive.

And I wanted to do stuff.

No doing stuff yet.

I had a 5:30 appointment for the intake, and I was 100% honest on the form about my habits and my medical conditions. After all, it’s a hospital-sponsored program so they have access to at least my medical history anyway. So I told the staff member about my fall history, about my bout of afib, about my orthostatic hypotension, my anemia, and my increase in spasticity.

And I quickly learned that due to all of these conditions, I will not be allowed to workout independently at the facility. I will have to make an appointment and work out with one of their trainers for every workout.

Now, to start, I can see this being prudent, and I hope I will prove I am not a danger to myself and be allowed to drop by and workout. But, if not, my new home gym is almost ready.

So, I accept this. I even try to see the nice staff person’s small gestures to my elbow as I step on and off the fancy scale as kindness. She does not know me, so she has to be cautious. But it would be a delicious story if I fell off a scale. And hurt myself. At the hospital.

Which reminds me of the time I fell down the stairs at the hospital, but that’s another story. You can read that story here.

Then, they took my heart rate and my blood pressure. Both were really high and would not come down.

Part of that might have been because I did not know they were in the basement, and even when I made it to the basement, they were tucked in a corner that had me walking around the whole building for a while. Then I got myself worked up when my anxiety was already doing overtime– I’m thinking a lot about how I’m going to heat the house this winter, what my next strategy will be for maintaining the publishing company’s income, and facing the holidays, a time of year when I typically feel the absence of my family.

So today I started taking my beta blocker again as I initiated my Clever Fox fitness journal. I filled out all the spaces regarding measurements, goals and trackers. Maybe it will force me to be introspective and keep track of my own behavior.

And meanwhile, I have taken Bean Dog for several walks this week. Our first was on last week, and it lasted less than five minutes. We walked halfway up our block and back, just to see how she behaved for me and if she would walk with me and leave Eva behind. The second walk was straight down our street almost 1.5 blocks and straight back, for a total of nine minutes.

Yesterday we walked around the whole block, which took 12 minutes, but about 8 minutes in, Bean spotted our neighbor’s pitty jumping at the fence literally within view of our house and I was afraid to try to get her home. In trying to grab her heel-level handle, I scraped my knuckles on the asphalt and decided to just sit there and wait for Eva to rescue us or for the dog to calm herself.

Today we walked two full blocks (15 minutes) after Eva trained me to use a hands-free leash with a bungee-style lead to absorb some of the force. Eva hooked it to the traditional leash so if she started to react badly I could brace my body weight and use more of my power to balance the dog, and then regain my control by taking the traditional leash back.

We have not had to do that, but it’s good practice and good exercise for both of us.

PS– I return to the medical fitness center tomorrow to resume my intake testing.