First Thanksgiving of the season

November 22, 2020November 22, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I have always harbored a certain resentment that holidays are defined as certain days, and since I worked retail for a decade, I adopted the attitude that holidays and celebrations happen when people gather not on a certain date or on the fourth Thursday in November.

My foster cat godmother gave us an 18-pound turkey and as I was a vegetarian for about eight years until my carnivorous daughter was born, I have never cooked a turkey. And it felt like this was the year to try.

I did some internet research and got the bird out of the fridge only to discover that my cheap refrigerator had frozen part of this damn turkey and even after soaking it in hot water we had a terrible time getting the neck from the chest cavity.

But luckily the teenager is stubborn like her mother and got the neck out, which looked and felt disturbingly phallic.

I assembled the coleslaw by placing cabbage, radishes and carrots in my Ninja food processor. I made a honey mustard dressing.

I slathered the turkey with butter, purple pepper, smoked paprika, poultry seasoning and sage and placed it in the oven. I “basted” it every thirty minutes by recycling the juices from the drip pan and wiping them across inside the bird with a pastry brush.

Then I whipped up the corn bread and placed it in my neighbor’s oven while I assembled the green beans Caesar and the sweet potato crunch.

I didn’t have enough pecans so I put some mixed nuts in the Ninja and that made my nuts more like nut butter. That was the only real “fail” of the night. But I liked it.

I heated up some corn and made some butter-sage turkey gravy from scratch. Nan brought some cranberry sauce. And Darnell and Amber were kind enough to stop by and rescue me when it came time to carve my bird.

Teenager #1 made a deliriously good batch of homemade mashed potatoes.

I heated up some corn and the spaghetti squash I grew in my compost heap.

Jan stopped by with her ladyship Sobaka and we had three teenagers in the house. That felt good.

Wrestling with a turkey

November 22, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I received an almost 18 pound turkey from my foster cat godmother— and Fog has already tried to get into the sink to eat the damn thing.

The neck is frozen inside the turkey because the back of my fridge is so cold. I have three items to bake in the oven— sweet potato casserole, corn bread and green beans Caesar— and they may not exist peacefully with the bird. So I have two neighbors on standby in case I need more oven space.

The theme of the dinner is “as close to a Thanksgiving meal I can make with the items in my kitchen.”

The menu:

Turkey and gravy
Homemade mashed potatoes
Sweet potato casserole or crunch, not sure yet
green beans caesar
Homemade coleslaw
Corn
Cornbread
Cranberry sauce

Still struggling with the neck of the turkey…

Frolicking Saturday

November 21, 2020November 21, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Today started with coffee and English muffins with my neighbor followed by a pedicure by my dear friend Beth at Hyperion Salon. Working in a warehouse walking 2,500 steps an hour (and that will increase), I need to take care of my feet.

Then I took the teens to the thrift store, where teenager #1 found three nice tops, teenager #2 found two very cute skirts, and I picked up several more pairs of comfortable pants for work.

We spent $30.

I let the teens use a coupon for a 99 cent coffee at Dunkin. Then we stopped at Wawa so we could fill the car with gas and I could redeem my reward from their loyalty app— a free 16 ounce handcrafted drink. I selected a cafe con lèche which is my favorite drink that Wawa offers.

I noticed while in there that Wawa now offers buttered rolls at the self serve coffee area and chocolate croissants. How very French breakfast of them. Their croissants look like overpriced toaster strudels but I will have to try them.

We came home and tried on our goodies. Once we determined everything fit, I started a load of washing.

I cuddled kittens, unraveled an entire spool of thread from the roomba’s mechanical system (thanks to cat mischief), found my missing glasses (yes, kittens), hid unwrapped Christmas presents and paid bills.

The teenagers and I are all cleaning in anticipation of tomorrow’s turkey dinner. The goal of the meal is to see how close to a traditional Thanksgiving as we can just using ingredients from around the house.

I keep a weekly dry erase calendar in the kitchen so everyone can keep track of household goings-on. Teenager #2 came to me and said, “Mom, the board says Taco Bell on Saturday.”

Indeed it did. Teenager #1 had heard a commercial for the toasted cheddar chalupa so I scheduled taco night.

The chalupa shell reminded me of the baked cheese on some Asiago bagels and rolls. I had the black bean one and I have to say I liked the vegetarian version better than their meat.

The teens approved as did my daughter’s father who stopped by to take the kids to Target. Teenager #1 is in the middle of bleaching her hair.

Caturday of cuddles

November 7, 2020November 7, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

This is my last weekend before starting a full time position as a retail warehouse associate at Stitch Fix. It sounds similar to what I used to do at Target, but without people and more walking.

I’ve read some online reviews and exchanged some texts with some Target folks who also went to Stitch Fix and my concerns are two-fold:

Can this forty-something body with cerebral palsy handle being on my feet walking more than 12 miles a day?
Can I survive on the pay?

But one positive is that the extra steps should help me get my weight under control and increase my fitness fortitude.

Or so I hope.

My accident was a week ago and I’m starting to think that I didn’t hurt my rib but instead really did “pull my boob” as in manage to pull the muscle that supports my right breast. I’m tired of being in pain.

Okay, enough whining.

The day started with a strong cup of coffee shared with my cockatoo, Nala. (YouTube Video: Coffee Time)

And then I heard a ruckus and thought the cats were fighting. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Fog had caught himself a mouse. (YouTube video: Mouse Adventures)

My mom stopped by this morning and transplanted the snake plant that the kittens destroyed. Then Mom and I went to Lidl where I not only got croissants to go with my delectable quince jelly, but I got discounted naan and lots of seltzer. In new flavors! Yes, Lidl has new flavors of seltzer including grapefruit.

I did lots of dishes, vacuumed the downstairs and my room (the roomba is functioning great now that I cleaned it, and washed the dining room and living room floors.

In between these tasks, I cuddled kittens and watched Car Masters: From Rust to Riches on Netflix.

In the last three days, I’ve managed to watch both seasons of this program. I love cars. My dad was a diesel mechanic and truck driver for much of my childhood. He can fix anything and I have a certain admiration and attraction to people who can fix things.

I’ve had the same cell phone number since 1998 because my dad gave me an old 1984 Ford Escort whose carburateur would flood and leave me stranded with every rain storm.

Some of my favorite memories are of watching my father work.

I recommend the reality series Rust to Riches — it features some serious strategy in building some amazing cars and also has more drama than one might expect.

The people who staff Gotham Garage in California include a woman who specializes in motors and knows classic muscle cars.

I made the teenagers a cheap knock off of seafood Alfredo for dinner.

And now the teens are playing Monopoly with a friend downstairs.

Tomorrow I will be getting a facial at Lucha Bella, hopefully making a trip to the Dollar Tree and taking the foster kittens, all seven of them, for shots.

Happy Fluffy Day

November 6, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Happy Friday, my faithful and potentially new readers!

I started today somehow determine to clean my room and perform the weekly maintenance on my roomba that should have been done at least three months ago.

That took a lot of time and energy, especially since my rib is still bothering me from my fall last Friday. This is one of the many things that keeps life spicy when you have cerebral palsy.

But the unseasonably warm weather and everything fluffy kept me happy amidst my chores.

Then my silly Goffins cockatoo, Nala, decided to dive into her water bowl.

I received a text from one of my neighbors inviting me over for coffee, so I took my filthy self, my quince jelly and my last two English muffins and enjoyed some chit chatting with my other half (she owns the other half of my double). And Buddy, her dog, was handsome as always.

Then I heard from another neighbor, Sobaka’s mom, that “cookie walk” could be scheduled for about 11:15. Cookie walk is a trip around the neighborhood where we visit with another neighbor’s mom and step dad as we collect treats for the dog.

We decided to do errands together with me as chauffeur. After a trip to the ever amazing Carmelcorn in downtown Easton (I did not go in— she who has a BMI of almost 27 and no income does not need candy), we finished our outing with a stop to CVS where I needed to grab my prescription and some food deals.

I came home and made some DiGiorno frozen pizza. Teenager #1 and I agree that the stuffed crust on the stuffed crust DiGiorno was delicious, but the pizza was lackluster. The four cheese DiGiorno was incredible.

As if that wasn’t enough goodness from today, I received a text from Zeus and Apollo’s new mom. She says they are doing well. And sent photos!

She has no idea how happy her text made me. This is some of what she had to say:

I wanted to tell you these little kitties are amazing. They are fearless even around our other kitties. So far everyone seems to be getting along , they are very curious about each other. The little ones are still timid to get pets but took treats and played.

Cats, doctors and Dunkin’

November 4, 2020November 4, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I was up until 2 am last night cuddling kittens and watching Gotham Garage on Netflix.

The Fluff butts of the Norse Pride are battling ringworm— the teenager and I also have that fungal delight.

When I woke this morning around 7, I saw an email from my new employer StitchFix telling me that my orientation is 6:30 am to 3 pm on Monday— and my doctors appointment for my blood pressure, itching, anxiety and cerebral palsy. But now I also have ringworm and some aching in my ribs from my fall.

I really didn’t want to start my new job with all of these things untreated. Luckily my doctor’s office had an opening today.

And I had trouble with all of the apps to do the paperwork for StitchFix. Still haven’t straightened it out.

I decided to change up my makeup for Zeus and Apollo’s adoption today. Teenager #1 and I headed to Chaar to meet their new family.

I hope they send lots of photos!

I promised the teenager an egg wrap from Dunkin on the way home but for some reason the app wouldn’t let me order eggs.

The doctor’s visit went fine and their social worker will call me to help with Medicaid and whatnot.

On the way home from the doctor, I finally got the egg wrap for the teenager, a doughnut with sprinkles for the other teenager, a glazed doughnut for my friend who was coming over, and I finally got to try the sourdough egg sandwich.

MY REVIEW

The bread is bigger than the eggs. Very spongy and I feel like it would make delicious toast. I feel like the bread would be better as a side. Or as a BLT. For $5– I’d rather have one of their other egg sandwiches.

Five minutes and counting

November 3, 2020Angel Ackerman 3 Comments

By the time I finish writing this the polls will be open. One of my friends referred to it as an old white man contest.

I’ve been quiet lately— struggling with an outbreak of ringworm among the kittens and teenager #1 and I. We moved The Norse Pride of foster kittens from Feline Urban Rescue and Rehab into my room and The Roman Pride into teenager #1’s room. The hope is that this will increase the Romans’ trust in humans.

Meanwhile… I lost my bedfellow Fog (which distresses me greatly and he is obviously upset about it and then teenager #1 made him wear a bow tie so I may never be forgiven) and gained scenes like this:

Teenager #1 insisted they were too small and too tame to harass the birds… so I suppose this is my imagination.

But in other news, my neighbor and I had a tea party last night. She has started using her mother’s tea pot and I have fancy tea cups and even fancier jams so we joined forces.

And this was after I made lemon butter caper gravy for dinner so all in all if nothing else it was a tasty day.

Chicken and Brussel sprouts with caper gravy

Teenager #1 explained to Teenager #2 that my food and television choices are a barometer of my mood. When I’m watching Gordon Ramsay my mental health is strong, but when I’m watching Hoarders I’m trying to feel better about myself.

By those rules, what does it mean that I binge-watched the entire series of Good Girls this weekend?

Speaking of this weekend, it felt so good to attend a football game. Here is the halftime show: Wilson Warrior Marching Band Avatar

What did not feel so good was the fall I took Friday night. I fell with all my weight on my right hand so my palm, wrist and thumb are all bruised. And I elbowed myself in the ribs— not quite hard enough to qualify for a bruised rib but hard enough so my right side hurts and I can’t lay on it. Or cough. But that’s how life goes when you are a clutz with cerebral palsy.

Have a great day.

Taco Bell Tantrums

October 30, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

My teenagers and I decided to splurge and order a party pack from Taco Bell.

(As a side note: I discovered they have very good iced coffee at Taco Bell, available right now for a dollar, and their powdered creamer is some strange thing like “ecostix” or something and it didn’t have any fake, chemical or soy taste. Kudos, Taco Bell.)

But upon getting the party pack home, we discovered the most ridiculous thing.

Remember the whole gag with the cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?

Well my cockatoo apparently has tantrums for Taco Bell.

YouTube: Tantrums for Taco Bell

Sheetz Shenanigans

October 28, 2020October 28, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Tonight, the teenagers had their last competition recording and end of year review concert for marching band. Saturday is the last football game— I have a much coveted ticket.

Teenager #1 earned her varsity letter tonight. Teenager #2 earned a pin.

After the performance, the teenager wanted her dad to take her for ice cream but he’d had some alcohol so he asked me to take her.

But I dilly-dallied over the menu too much and Dairy Queen closed before we got there.

I salvaged the evening by offering a trip to Sheetz. We all got milkshakes— Teenager #1 got the Monster Mash and all she would say was “mmmmm” over and over; teenager #2 got a custom chocolate caramel milkshake with brownie bits. I redeemed some rewards points (which turned out to be a fairly complex process) for the pucker shake. I’m not even sure what it really was but it was a blue milkshake with lots of sour patch kid pieces. I loved it.

Though Sheetz really could give the milkshakes a wider straw.

I ordered an appetizer sampler of boneless wings, jalapeño poppers and Wisconsin cheese curds. I already knew I loved Sheetz’s jalapeño poppers, but their cheese curds are beyond amazing. The boneless wings were dry and disappointing.

Dairy Queen retains the title for best chicken.

Meanwhile, the sugar from that milkshake left me feeling super hyped and more inebriated than an alcoholic beverage.

My top 10 videos on YouTube

October 27, 2020October 28, 2020Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I started a YouTube channel long ago to record and transmit a video to one of my friends’ writing classes. Six years ago. Somewhere around three or four years ago, I ramped up my production of videos with no real rhyme or reason.

What surprises me is what people watch and what they don’t. I now have about 325 subscribers but they don’t really interact often so I’m not sure if I have a certain type of audience or not.

Because I don’t promote my YouTube videos (they are crude and unedited and not really meant to be a commodity) I think most of my viewers stumble upon me by happenstance.

But I thought it would be fun to share with you the top ten most viewed videos on my YouTube channel.

10. The list begins with author Jordan Sonnenblick doing a reading from his new-at-the-time book at Mary Meuser Memorial Library. 557 views

Jordan Sonnenblick

What puzzles me is that # 11 is my review of a Starbucks Maple Pecan muffin at 554 views. Review of the muffin and at 475 views there is a few second video of a unicorn icee. Unicorn icee

9. This one is the now teenager as elementary school student (six years ago!!) playing variations of Bingo on her 3/4 baritone. 586 views.

Bingo

8. This one has 776 views and all it is is ducks recorded during our road trip to Georgia.

Ducks

7. The teenager’s middle school band playing an Irish Jig. 783 views. The composer/arranger commented on this one.

Irish Jig for Youn g feet by Travis J. Weller

6. Another marching band video from three years ago, the teenager’s high school victory song. 1,000 views.

Hail to the Warriors

5. (And 4.) The teenager as a middle schooler explaining how to assemble a sousaphone. Part one has 1,600 views whereas part two only has 1,200.

Putting a Sousaphone Together part one

Putting a sousaphone together part two

3. My daughter’s first season in marching band, stand tunes at a football game. 1,600 views

Warpath

2. My daughter as an eighth-grader playing Smoke on the Water on a sousaphone. 1,700 views

Smoke on the water

And #1 — for reasons I don’t understand:

My daughter removing my splinter

This video has 506,000 views. And my chipped nail polish received much criticism. Next time I will be sure to paint my nails before trying to remove a splinter.

So other popular videos include:

Opie the 3-legged cat and I make my bed (327 views)

Sun conure (322 views)

Yet Marzieh Hashemi only received 289 views. Marzieh Hashemi at a rally in DC

Angel Ackerman

Writer, Editor, Passionate Participant in the World

Category Food