Budgeting

For the first 15 years or so of our marriage, I used Quicken to do our household finances. We have always been one of those households just making ends meet, sometimes saving up, only to have something happen to suck our savings away.

When Quicken went to a subscription based cloud product, I groaned but paid the piper because I had almost two decades of financial records in that software.

And then, in late 2018, my 2013 MacBook Air died.

I developed a system to keep my finances organized—

using graph paper.

Each square is $25 in expenses I spent in a month not part of the regular cycle of bills (mortgage, car payment, electric, fuel oil for heat, water, sewer/garbage, car insurance). That is just so I know where my moment went for future planning.

I keep one column for “cash” and one for “credit” above the graph to detail the spending.

95% of my credit expenses go on my American Express, and I keep a Discover in my wallet for those places that don’t take American Express. I typically pay off my entire balance each month (which is where all that tallying and calculating what I’ve spent comes in handy) but recently I used a free trial of American Express’s “plan it” feature to pay some medical bills and for Nala, my Goffin’s cockatoo.

Preparing to Budget

I keep a sloppy register of my checks also in the budget book, and I compare balances against my budget for the month or quarter at least once a week.

But here’s my big hack. I am known to take my credit cards out of my wallet and I never carry my ATM card.

Yes, you heard me.

I don’t carry my ATM card in my wallet. I keep it in a drawer at home. If I want to extract money out of my bank, I have to plan it. Or run to Target and use my Target debit card. This keeps those little expenses from adding up.

There is no “let’s run out and get a sandwich.” That kind of thing.

But, you say, what if something unexpected happens? Well, I do have what I call my discretionary spending card.

I have a Capital One online account where I put whatever money I think I can spare after I pay the bills. Honestly, that’s usually the grocery money. Right now there is $12 left in that account. No, make that $8. I forgot I stopped at DQ for Buy One Get One for 80 cents Blizzards. That is the ATM card I keep in my wallet.

If I get impulsive, if I drop it, if it gets stolen, if it gets hacked… it’s not the account I use to pay my bills.

Plus, I have a savings account in Capital One, so if I get really stuck, I can transfer money between those accounts on my phone. And money between my main accounts and my Capital One accounts also takes a few business days, so it does require planning.

But I’m good at planning.

So right now I’m going to update the budget as I had some more large bills come in (dental crown $400 out of pocket; furnace maintenance agreement $250) plus car insurance is due in two weeks.

I pay for six months at a time and it’s due on the same day as the mortgage.

Speaking of mortgage, when we were 12 years into our 30-year-mortgage I refinanced the house from 5.5% down to 3.25% in a 15-year loan. Too many people want to lower their monthly payment, whereas I focused on shortening the term on the loan.

I borrowed enough money to pay off the car and some credit card bills (an unexpected household repair and my daughter’s euphonium had us in for about $5,000) AND cut two years off our original mortgage length for the same payment as our original mortgage but we were saving an additional $300/month not having a car payment.

I also had them add an additional $50/month for principal curtailment to my mortgage payment. So if I ever need to I can have the mortgage company drop that and I can have a lower mortgage. In the meantime, my principal is dropping.

I do something similar with my car—once I calculate my budget for the quarter I pay anywhere from $50 to $200 extra on my car payment. I think I financed $15,000 less than 18 months ago and already my pay off balance is about $9,000.

My other tip is to have an automatic transfer into a savings account. Most banks encourage this and will waive fees and offer overdraft protection if you do it. I transfer $200 a month into my savings account and sometimes I have to transfer it back to checking the next day. Normally I can live without it, and when a shortfall happens I have that back-up.

Budgeting and financial planning when you’re in a low-to-moderate income household is hard. It’s a puzzle. Knowing what it takes to run your household is key. Planning is a must.

PS— yes that is my credit score

Sunday check-in

I stayed up until midnight last night and Nala, my Goffin’s cockatoo, and the kittens decided I needed to get up at seven, which was actually six with the time change.

I’m hoping in time they all learn that we sleep in on Sunday.

I had a bit of a lazy Saturday. I visited with family and neighbors, did some laundry and went to the theater.

So this morning at first I felt very overwhelmed by the household chores staring me in the face. I did some more laundry, cleaned the cat boxes and dealt with the dishes. Emptied the dishwasher, reloaded it and scrubbed the pots and pans.

I also started the tea pot and brewed myself a big old mug of tea— Tazo sweet orange, Simply Balanced Unwind, and Simply Balanced Voice Tamer (rooibos)— mixed together. Then I iced it.

Meanwhile, the roomba vacuumed my bedroom and I set my little robot free downstairs. It’s amazing how that robot can work side by side with me and help me feel like the house is getting clean.

Now, it’s noon and I made myself some light brunch. Two slices stoneground wheat toast, one with hummus and avocado, the other with honey butter cream cheese. And some grapes.

So before I go check on the roomba, I am enjoying this and watching an episode of Kitchen Nightmares.

Sweet sleep

It’s 6:25 a.m. and I just poured a mug of my favorite coffee—Archer Farms Cafe Mosaica from Target. I haven’t made any in days. As part of my quest to lower my stress, fix my blood pressure and start sleeping better.

Before recent stress and life changes, I knew the routines of my body. I need at least eight hours sleep. As I get closer to my menstrual cycle, I may need more. It is typical for me to get so tired I sleep ten hours without moving in my bed. Usually only one day a month. But that hasn’t happened in a while.

For counterpoint, I usually have three days around the middle of my cycle where I’m high energy and extraordinarily confident. That hasn’t happened for a while either.

Both can probably be attributed to stress and hormone changes now that I am in my mid-forties.

There was a period for a year or so when I had insomnia once a month.

But now most of my issue is life. I think that’s how you know you’re getting older. More things disturb your sleep,

The garbage man arrives at 5:15. The cat has a hairball. The kittens decide to ricochet off my bedroom door. My personal favorite this week— the cockatoo has nightmares and calls out gently in her sleep.

So my typical sleep pattern is to collapse in bed between 9 and 10:30 pm, sleep like the dead for about 90 minutes, take about twenty minutes to fall back to sleep, get several hours good sleep before waking up briefly in the wee hours, drifting off again, and waking up when something else happens or one minute before the alarm.

(My superpower is innate time sense so I don’t often need my alarm.)

Thanks to the cockatoo’s rough night coupled with a 5:15 am visit front the garbage man, I got about six hours interrupted sleep Wednesday night. So yesterday—a long work day on top of it—I reneged on my caffeine abstention especially when I discovered my blood pressure had jumped to 153/98.

I had two cups at the office and a diet soda with dinner (that I used to wash down half a pizza) and I slept 7.5 hours last night and, according to the scale, lost a pound.

So today I am enjoying my favorite coffee and back to aiming for moderation.

Wednesday night update

I have a plethora of potential topics to blog about but none of them feels right for tonight. It’s Wednesday, which means quasi-deep cleans for the bird cages and garbage collection.

The top two topics on my mind are sharing my “frugal hacks”/budgeting process and my journey with my blood pressure which is also connected to my cerebral palsy.

But they are such serious topics.

The teen just suggested cats.

Oz is jealous

Both the boys—our cats who turn 9 this month—are in my room right now. I just got done with the roomba and am waiting for the “white” laundry to get done in the washing machine.

I didn’t sleep well last night but I also did not dream. My shoulders are so tense they hurt. But I had a really peaceful productive day at work.

I mixed the last of my coffee from Jamaica with some decaf and, if Dunkin made my drink correctly, my afternoon latte was a decaf. Only caffeine today came from a half cup of coffee.

Meals today… 3. Content not too bad. I totally forgot the connection between high blood pressure and sodium so I’m being more cognizant of that.

Breakfast: mostly decaf coffee with half and half, 12 ounces water, one everything bagel toasted, half with roasted red pepper hummus, half with Brie.

Approximate morning water: 50 ounces.

Late morning treat: decaf black tea with Yogi ginger tea.

Lunch: iceberg lettuce salad with purple cabbage and carrots, leftover dark meat from a rotisserie chicken, some real bacon crumbles, some imitation bacon bits, some processed chicken bites (three popcorn chicken size bites) and blue cheese dressing.

Afternoon: 20 ounces tap water

Meal break: iced coconut (unsweetened flavor) latte with skim milk, light ice and one pump caramel and about 10 gummy bears.

Supper: grilled cheese on cheap stoneground wheat bread, made with light mayonnaise instead of butter, with cheese from last night’s cheese platter and tuna. Vegetable was baked sweet potato fries. Another 12 ounces water.

Vitamins: multi, zinc, calcium/magnesium/zinc combo and B-complex.

As for other pet news, Nala is peacefully cuddly today and seems to be filling in feathers nicely.

Nala, my Goffin’s cockatoo

And in exciting news, Fog, the newest member of our household almost voluntarily got into my lap. She also rolled onto her back and let me pet her belly until I got tired of it.

Six weeks ago Fog was a feral kitten who had never been indoors!

Misty (on the teen’s lap) and Fog

Wednesday

Yeah, Wednesday. That’s what I got. I’m thirsty, I’m tired. I’ve written so many grants my eyeballs hurt.

But I’m surrounded by birds and kittens.

Fog

Fog was the kitten trapped last. You can’t manhandle her like a tame cat, but she’s sure starting to like cuddles.

I also just ordered a pizza.

The teenager is with her dad. I cleaned bird cages as that is a Wednesday ritual as we prep for garbage day. Nala seems to enjoy her pellets I got her— I mixed ZuPreem nut flavored pellets and Kaytee fruit flavored pellets in with her parrot mix which had a lot of nuts and seeds in it.

The dishwasher is doing its thing on all the pet dishes.

And I think I ate fairly decently today and I’m surviving my work week so I will get that pizza. Buffalo chicken pizza. And a cold beer.

For breakfast I had a bagel, half with hummus and half with butter. And half a cup of my favorite coffee with half and half. Morning snack was a protein matcha coconut milk drink. Lunch was spaghetti squash, chick peas, tomato sauce, kale and feta. And for my afternoon pick me up I had about ten really good gummy bears.

Okay so note to self: more fruits and veggies tomorrow.

My plan now is to get the birds their water bowls, wait for my pizza, and hopefully work out a new budget. My tax refund came, but I owe more than that on my medical bills so it didn’t offer me as much breathing room as I hoped. I’m still in the hole, as they say.

But that’s where clever budgeting comes in. And I hope to share with you some of my budgeting tricks. Stay tuned!

The Art of Self-Soothing

I haven’t made it a secret that I’ve been struggling. Fitness, stress and work have been heavy on my mind.

And I don’t know about you—but when I’m stressed the habits I need most seem to be the ones that fall first.

First to go is cooking. I love to cook. I love to enjoy a meal. But as soon as I am stressed, I start eating processed foods and pizza, because I like those foods and they are easy. But they take a toll. Even though my weight is healthy, I can still feel the impact of those foods on my body, my stamina, my energy, and my moods.

I’ve worked really hard lately to balance stress eating with healthy eating. I actually brought a frozen dinner to work to eat for lunch earlier this week. I actually crept into my office to eat it in secret because I was embarrassed. I didn’t even enjoy it. I was just lazy.

So I went home and made this casserole:

Now this was a delight: spaghetti squash roasted by the teenager, then I mixed it with tomato sauce, kale, chick peas, feta and Italian cheese blend. I sprinkled in some nutritional yeast for extra vitamins.

Speaking of vitamins, when I’m stressed I stop taking mine. I don’t eat as much at meals when stressed so I don’t have a full enough stomach to take my vitamins. On top of that, then I end up snacking and binge eating chips or Doritos.

Another bad habit when I’m stressed is over-cleaning. In a desperate attempt to control something in my environment, I clean until I exhaust and/or hurt myself.

And if you see me skip a blog entry, that could also signify I’m tapped out.

So how can I self-soothe?

  • Text friends and make arrangements to go out. Today I texted my husband and asked if he could visit me at lunch time. I cried and told him my fears and my struggles. Despite the fact that I asked him to move out in June, and we’ve lived apart with minimal contact for eight months, he hugged me and held me and that made my cry more. I think that was the best hug he ever gave me. He made me feel protected. So I thank him for that.
  • Play with the kittens, cuddle with Nala (my Goffins cockatoo), manhandle one of my older cats or listen to the budgies sing.
  • Watch stand-up comedy. I love stand-up.
  • Shave and moisturize. Something about soft, smooth skin is reassuring.
  • If I’m not going to the gym, I at least need to do physical therapy exercises for my S1 joint in my back and my balance.
  • Write more.
  • Does budgeting count? I hope to do a blog entry on budgeting. I don’t mean paying bills, I mean planning the future use of anticipated income. It also makes me feel in control.
  • Occasionally splurge on a fancy coffee or a treat. But not often enough to qualify as stress eating.

Okay, I’ve shared what I had to share. I’m going to watch some Gordon Ramsay now. Another relaxation technique. Eventually I want to blog about his different shows. He is very prolific.

Tartuffe tonight

Lots of Sunshine

I’m very excited about going to see Tartuffe at DeSales University tonight. They have a strong college theatre program. They offer a program for visually and hearing impaired theatre-goers so my teenager and I attend with our blind friend, Nancy.

The program is a great way to expand my daughter’s horizons as they select great plays and adapt the presentation for other-abled patrons.

For the blind attendees, the cast comes out to introduce themselves. The staff pass out props and discuss how the stage is set.

As someone with a theatre background, it’s an exciting way to connect the experience of the viewer with the technical and magical side of how theatre works.

Some of the shows we’ve seen there:

  • Arthur Miller’s The Crucible
  • Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard
  • Tennessee William’s The Glass Menagerie
  • Evita

This morning, the teenager is with her dad and I’m doing some household chores. I took down my bedroom curtains and washed the windows. In a few minutes, I’ll be retrieving the curtains from the laundry and hanging them up to dry.

Today’s big adventure might be trimming Nala’s nails.

An average day

This will be a walk through my day today, a tad random, a tad sporadic.

This will include lots of silly animal posts.

But let’s start with my alarm at 6 a.m. I let myself sleep in because my rest has been irregular. I’ve had mild bouts of insomnia brought on by stress and hormones so it was hard to get out of bed.

A French Dream

I woke from a dream I don’t quite fully remember but I remember when the alarm sounded, I was dreaming that I had reached the end of some sort of tour, while on a trip, and was ordering alcoholic beverages for everyone in my party in French. I think I was the only person who spoke French. And I really was speaking French. I don’t usually speak French in dreams.

Perhaps this stems from my executive director eating a vegetable sandwich on a croissant at the networking event we attended last night.

Speaking of work, today started better and I feel a little less discombobulated about my job. I have an important report due Friday and three grants I need to have ready by Valentine’s Day.

Then the high school called.

An automated message informed me that my child was not in school. Text to teenager, who left at 7:15 with a heavy backpack. “You in school?”

No response.

(A sign that she is in school and not on her phone.)

“The school just called. They don’t think you’re there.”

She responds. “Sh*t. I must have forgotten to sign in.”

I tell her to fix that and to text me a photo from the school office holding today’s newspaper. She didn’t respond to my comment, though she did tell me she talked to the attendance office.

I had lunch with a friend who always lightens my spirit and has intelligent conversation. I’ve worked so many hours this week, I need to remember to make these connections.

And you always need those friends who give good hugs. A friend who bakes brownies is also good.

The afternoon went quickly and I decided my teenager and I would have a picnic. I took the leftover pizza from last night and a big old salad and we ate it on my bed with all the animals out, normally (to my chagrin) the kittens are locked in my teenager’s room.

Menagerie tales

So the kittens ran through the whole house, up and down the stairs, up and down the hall.

And, of course, Nala, the cockatoo, refused to eat salad in favor of pizza. Video of Nala eating pizza

Then I hung laundry and watched Opie, our 3-legged cat, play with the kittens.

Videos:

Misty attacks Opie

Opie and the kittens

My sore arm and the gym

I opted not to go to the gym as I’m still not sure I’ve recovered my strength. That fall scared me. A lot.

(See Grit and getting published on The Mighty.)

I have noticed my right arm has that vaguely sore feeling like after you get an inoculation. I couldn’t figure out why. Then I remembered, I fell on that arm. And I also noticed a bruise on my elbow. And a new bruise and scratch on my leg.

Finally

After teenager and I gathered the trash, I hopped in the shower. I found the teen “trapped” on my bed with an Oz on her back.

And now I’m drinking a double stiff mug of Traditional Medicinals Nighty Nite Valerian tea.

Housework Saturday

I woke up at 6 this morning, but laid in bed for a while afraid to wake the birds.

I opened the curtains for them slightly before 8. Here is a glimpse of them in the pink nightlight. Good morning, Birds

I fed the cats, the birds, made coffee, put in laundry and hung wash before making a giant hot pocket for breakfast.

Ham, spinach, scrambled egg, homemade mozzarella.

I cut some cantaloupe. The teenager had a mango.

Then I did dishes. A second load of wash. Vacuumed the kitchen, living room and half the dining room. And the furniture.

I washed the living room and kitchen floor.

Picked up the teenager’s stuff and moved furniture.

Then I stopped to visit the kitten. Which the third kitten has returned. If the neighbors catch it, we have a former neighbor interested in it. But she is going on vacation with Sobaka’s mom so then we would get to foster Misty’s sibling!

Sobaka might be here in as little as an hour. I need to shower but I also need to rest.

I watched an episode of Gordon Ramsay’s The F Word last night and an episode of 24 Hours: To Hell and Back. His original BBC show and his current one.

Perhaps one day soon I’ll do an essay on my new obsession.

[Do whatever it is] everyday

Good morning, world. I love morning, as long as dawn is breaking. Every morning is a clean slate.

I’ve been thinking about my efforts recently to blog regularly, which reinforces to me my own voice as I deal with various struggles but it also attests to the power of habit.

Exercise: same thing. It doesn’t matter how ‘hard’ you exercise in the beginning because the true goal is to incorporate the habit as an automatic part of your life.

Same for artists that paint everyday. Same for meditation.

Life is about discipline as much as it is about improvement and skill.

That constitutes my philosophy for the day.

Update on Nala

I originally would wake Nala shortly before 6 a.m. when I turned on my pink bedroom light and started getting ready for work. I would bring her downstairs while I fed the cats and made coffee.

As a working bird mama, I wanted her to have time with me.

But since she refuses to close her eyes at night unless I am in the room, I want her to sleep in. So I’ve been creeping out of my room in the dark every morning and returning when it’s time to clean cages and feed birds.

So far this appears to be good for both of us.