Category essay

Rainbows & unicorns, part deux

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I never finished my “point” with my post earlier today, Rainbows and Unicorns. I meant to use that post as a reflection on goal setting.

But I got distracted talking about the state of the world.

So, as my friends and I talk about our first world problems, it’s easy to feel bogged down thinking about taxes and the medical system (I owe about $700 for a breast ultrasound right now. Sigh.) Etc. That was when we took a minute to exchange philosophies on goal setting.

I struggle with big picture goal setting. I do much better if someone suggests various big goals and then I can break the goal I select into smaller pieces.

I’m really good at deciphering steps to make a clear larger goal a reality. I do really well with baby steps.

So it was a nice discussion and reminder that sometimes we need to approach our lives and our problems by picking the steps we can bite off and chew, not rush all the way to the end goal.

When you find yourself overwhelmed, break the problem into the very next small step and move slowly forward with each success.

Rainbows and Unicorns

Angel Ackerman 1 Comment

Some of my friends are grouchy. I remind my grouchy friends of their curmudgeon status, if only to remind them that not everyone sees through their crunchy exterior.

One of these friends likes to remind me that the world is not rainbows and unicorns.

We were discussing how overwhelming basic life situations can be. Medical care and the associated bills. The job market and, while unemployment is low, there isn’t much opportunity for professional employees and living wages. Through in some politics. The rising cost of food. The lack of healthy options in our food supply. The exploitation of the developing world.

You see how easy it is to get bogged down?

So this friend reminds me the world is not rainbows and unicorns.

And I reply, probably in the most unflattering whine, “I know the world isn’t rainbows and unicorns, but I want it to be and that makes my heart hurt.”

In other news:

Several of my friends are enjoying my witchcraft series. One walked by something sparkly on the ground, stopped after a few steps and remembered my theory of finding powerful things. He reversed course and found a necklace. The shape and color of the stone appealed to him. So he picked it up.

Friday night & Valentines

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This is going to be a crazy lil bit of everything post. I’ll try to divide into topics with subheadings; I want to be good to y’all.

Nala

I bought her some new toys. Anything paper, like the one above, is a hit. But she seems to be afraid of bigger toys of heavier materials.

This is a photo of everything I got her:

As for plucking, it gets worse and better day by day. I’ve noticed three main triggers:

  1. Change in routine
  2. Overstimulation
  3. Desire for attention

Misty and Fog

The kittens certainly get more tired out since we let them run through the house. They pull they towels off the racks in the bathroom. They scatter the wash in the laundry room. They steal Oz’s food and he’s too big and dumb to stop them.

Some of my past kitten posts:

Kitten update

The third kitten

Nails

Tomorrow I get my first fill on my nails. They still look pretty perfect and I can see my natural nails growing in!

For more on my nails:

Nails

Road trip tomorrow!!!!

I joined AAA last weekend specifically because I’m traveling to Washington DC alone this weekend.

My temporary cards haven’t come!

I’m super excited and mostly ready.

I told my work colleagues and they asked if I planned on touring any of the downtown DC sites. I said no, I plan on sitting on my friend’s couch drinking coffee most of the weekend.

The teenager is going out with her dad so I’m on my own tonight for Valentine’s.

Enough is enough! (Take that, Tupperware cupboard!)

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I’ve been stressed. There’s a lot going on in my life between relationships and work. And for weeks, if not months, I’ve wanted to clean the Tupperware cupboard.

When my husband moved out in late June, I encouraged him to take more of the storage containers in the cupboard. I honestly don’t remember how much he took. But I do know I look at the cupboard and think I have too many containers left.

Purging and organizing makes my soul feel free and light.

Today I finally did it…

I ate way too many pierogies for dinner and then I tackled the abyss.

My heart celebrates order over chaos.

The Power of Symbols

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In my recent discussions of spirituality and witchcraft, a comment from one of my followers (Olivia) pointed out that it makes sense that items that are on an altar should be very personal.

That got me thinking about what makes a symbol powerful.

Items on an altar are symbols of the energies we wish to attract.

So, sure there are certain traditional masculine symbols if you wish to attract that type of energy: phallic symbols and the sun for example. Just like the bowls and the moon are traditionally female.

Those symbols are based on associations most people understand and to which they can relate.

Other symbols retain their power because people imbue them with collective thoughts. Think of the cross; it’s a powerful icon because a massive amount of people having agreed on its meaning for centuries.

For some, the cross inspires hope and love and a promise. Others might associate it with guilt and bigotry.

But most people on this planet know it.

The American flag also evokes such strong associations.

That’s why, when considering what you believe and what symbols hold power, and what that power is, the most important part of the equation is what you hold most dear in your heart.

That will carry the power.

21st Century Witchcraft: if you need it, it will come

Angel Ackerman 3 Comments

Part of an informal ongoing series.

To read previous segments:

21st Century Witchcraft: Why I’m no longer “Christian”

21st Century Witchcraft: Magic in the Everyday

21st Century Witchcraft: Books

Today was not an easy day. But I feel like I’ve climbed a hump for right now and I can’t worry about what comes next.

My favorite Bible passage, and the one read when I got married was Matthew 6:25-34.

Verse 6:26: Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.”

34: “So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.”

The universe will provide.

In its own way, in the right time.

My daughter has recently delved into my treasure trove of hand-me-down witch/Wicca/spiritual books. She wanted tools, candles, and to create her own rituals. She wanted to go to a witchcraft shop.

I quickly told her no.

Your tools, I said, will be more powerful if you find them. A piece of wood from a hike with friends. Trinkets from travels. I touch stones constantly to see if they speak to me. I found an unopened pack of cigarettes once and tobacco and fire are both good for ritual.

My bedroom altar is an old Crayola stock box used to carry crayons around the factory for a hundred years. I use the inside as a bookshelf (messy now because I have the Bible in my lap).

On top:

  • My cauldron is a small bowl I fell in love with at the Asian gifts store.
  • My daughter’s favorite book from her toddler days and her first mouthpiece from her baritone which just broke this year.
  • A “nameplate” I bought from a friend’s country gift store because it happened to have my name on it.
  • The pen I used to write a novel in middle school.
  • My old silver ring of Jesus on the cross. I used it to remind me not to lose my temper.

  • Sea shells
  • An amethyst
  • A sun candle holder
  • A necklace from I believe Iraq

So look for those items that speak to you.

Why you should always be nice

Angel Ackerman 3 Comments

Today I kept my head above water, but I often still feel like I’m drowning.

Physically I’m still struggling a bit so that makes it a little harder.

Dinner tonight was Little Caesar’s deep dish.

I ordered it for 5 pm so the teenager could come with me to pick it up, but she had a kitten pinning her down and we all know how hard it can be to escape kittens. 

I arrive early since I didn’t stop home. The person staffing Little Caesar’s front desk is super apologetic that my pie isn’t ready. I said it was fine, and told her that my daughter being held hostage by kittens.

She gave the only response she could, “Awe…. you have kittens?! Like little kittens?”

And as she drank her Mountain Dew I told her the story of trapping the kittens and how I don’t have the heart to separate the remaining siblings.

Next she asked, how old is your daughter?”

“Almost 16,” I replied.

“You don’t look old enough to have a daughter who’s 16.”

“I’m going to be 45 in a couple months,” I told her.

“You look damn good for 45,” the woman said as she handed me my pizza.

I thanked her. And then she told me to wait and she gave me big bag of cookies, for my daughter, even though my daughter was too old for cookies, she said, but everyone likes cookies.

It made me think of all the times I used to give out things like popcorn.

But who knew Little Caesar’s had cookies?

Anyway, those cookies felt like winning the lottery.

In closing, enjoy this photo of the teenager exploring the cookies and Nala, the cockatoo, and I, eating pizza.

A chat with my Chiropractor

Angel Ackerman 1 Comment

When you have a condition like cerebral palsy, sometimes it’s difficult to determine what’s an average ache or pain, what’s normal for you, and what’s an actual problem worth seeking help for.

I’m too tired today to rewrite that sentence so it doesn’t end in a preposition. Deal with it, grammar police.

I’ve been falling a lot lately. It started before my annual physical, the one where my blood pressure was so high the doctor threatened to medicate me. I fell just walking down the street. I’d lose my balance on the stairs. On Sunday, I stumbled while doing laundry and managed to stab the ball of my foot with the corner of a concrete slab.

Since I walk a little funny, and I’m a little crooked and I have a little trouble with my S1 joint, my chiropractor has worked wonders.

She also has extensive knowledge of physical therapy, so I tend to pick her brain.

Today she told me to do balance exercises, like standing on one foot; calf stretches and anything for my ankles.

And my past experiences in physical therapy for balance came flooding back.

I stood on each leg for at least 10-15 seconds four times; I bent one knee and pushed the wall a few times; did calf raises, toe taps, some side steps and matching.

She also told me to get that blood pressure under control because that also affects balance.

My chiropractor’s web site

PS: I destroy shoes. I wear heels at an angle. This weekend I spent about $80 on new shoes for myself. That will help the falling problem, too.

21st Century Witchcraft: Books

Angel Ackerman 4 Comments

Originally I had intended to include “personal space” in this section with books, but I know myself and I’m going to babble enough to make that an upcoming entry.

For part one of my “Witchcraft in the 21rst Century” series: 21st Century Witchcraft: Why I’m no longer “Christian”

For part two: 21st Century Witchcraft: Magic in the Everyday

Welcome to my bookshelf.

During two decades of book-hunting, I have amassed (and given away) a lot of books. I also have a fairly extensive collection of tarot cards but that is another topic for another day.

I gave a large amount of books by Scott Cunningham and Silver Ravenwolf. Before the Internet was readily available and put the universe at our fingertips I used to comb used bookstores and new age shops looking for spiritual ideas.

Then I finally ended up on Llewelyn Publishing’s mailing list.

My daughter now has a lot of the Classics, like Buckland’s Book of Witchcraft.

But I kept some in my vintage Crayola stock box that stands beside my bed.

Everything in this photo is precious to me, except the Celtic Myth book. That one was a disappointment though a good reference. I have some characters who worship ancient Celtic gods.

  • The white book on the bottom is the manual to my 2005 Altima. I loved that car. Having the manual close brings back good memories, nostalgia and longing.
  • Solitary Witch by Silver Ravenwolf is the only one of her books I kept for myself.
  • Wicca: A Year and a Day is a fantastic way to study Wicca and a lot of the meditative daily exercises help find your unique connection to your spirituality. That said, I have never finished the whole book.
  • The faded book lying horizontally on top of those books is my personal book of shadows. Yes, I have one.
  • The two books on top of those are pocket guides to graphology and palmistry. I never found anything else as concise and easy to follow.
  • On top of those are two antique prayer books, both more than 100 years old. One is Catholic. I love Catholic rituals.
  • The Oxford Annotated Bible. This was the Bible from my college Bible classes. We wrote in it. It has extensive footnotes and historical context. I take it with me to church services and still take notes in it. With dates. So over time, I can see my travels through the Bible.
  • The United Methodist Hymnal. My childhood church closed. And one of my peers from those days got me one of the hymnals at the last service.
  • The Book of Centering. An influential pastor once told me about the practice of centering. We were discussing prayer, and this is a type of meditative prayer that also focuses on relaxing the body and pulling prayer into yourself.
  • The Way of Chuang Tzu. This book of Taoist poetry radically altered my perspective of my place in the universe.
  • Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery. My favorite book. I even have an image from it tattooed above my breast. This book, by an amazing man, is all the life lessons you need. It looks like a children’s book, but it’s not. It’s happy and tragic.
  • Walden. This book is meaningful to me from a spiritual and a family perspective. This copy belonged to my great-grandmother’s little brother.
  • Dirty Pretty Things. Sexy, beautiful poetry. Because our sexuality is key to our power.
  • Bloodletting by my friend William Prystauk. Kinky, dark, violent, but the most sincere love story. (For my review of Bill’s book: Review of Bloodletting)
  • My first “novels” that I ever wrote
  • Go the Fuck to Sleep. The last book my husband bought me.

21st Century Witchcraft: Magic in the Everyday

Angel Ackerman 2 Comments

To understand my perspective and my background, see the earlier piece (part 1): 21st Century Witchcraft: Why I’m no longer “Christian”

My definition of witchcraft is neither the practices of spells nor the following of Wicca, though both of those may qualify as witches.

My definition of magic isn’t based on hocus pocus or ritual, though both of those may qualify.

In my view, and what I wish to discuss here, there are many practices in everyday life that, again in my view, equate to everyday magic.My views may run counter to your views. please remember, the universe has space for all of us.

Respect, first and foremost.

  • Prayer. The basic concept of prayer has a person preparing a sincere conversation with God. Thinking that our words with influence a higher power or change the outcome of events certainly feels like magic to me.
  • Aromatherapy, essential oils, herbal medicine. Witchcraft may be seen as finding the best use for items in the natural world and understanding how these items influence our mind, body, health and behavior.
  • Good luck charms. Lucky penny? Only take a test with certain color pens? Not only is this about superstition but it’s also a case of using an object to focus and strengthen our own will.
  • Candles. If you choice your candles or scented wax products based on color or smell, I consider that trying to change the atmosphere of your home with subtle magic.
  • Traditional foods. Eat pork and sauerkraut on New Year’s Day? Certain desserts on certain occasions? Our food habits and what we chose to eat alters our frame of mind. Those mental states can certainly impact us. And in other cases, the ingredients and preparation procedures gives us singular focus.
  • Pets. The animals we bring into our homes may bring an intense bond. Some may be so attuned to us, they may provide protection, strength and reassurance. In other cases, the animal may bring beauty or joy just in its presence.

Coming soon:

Witchcraft in the 21st Century (part 3): Books and personal space