Wines from the Tree Trimming Party

Wine number one:

Apothic Sparkling Red. Very light. Not too sweet or rich. Very celebratory and delightful with fresh raspberries in the glass.

Wine number two:

Ribshack. A wine from Western Cape, South Africa. Reminiscent of a hearty French red. Described as a wine to accompany meat, whether venison or other red meat as you braai. As the bottle says, this is a good wine for a dinner party though I see it as a winter wine to complement a thick beef stew.

Wine number three:

Franklin Hills Cake. Is it wrong to buy a wine because the bottle and graphic design is intriguing? This wine was very sweet, certainly smelled like cake, even made the room fragrant. It was like burning scented candles. I enjoyed it, but it didn’t taste like white wine. More like liquid candy with the tang of wine.

To stop and view the moon

Life is seldom perfect.

But tonight, stuck in traffic, eating too much of a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, I had a near perfect moment.

The clouded over full moon turned the wintery night sky gold. For a moment, amid my sea of break lights, I basked in peace.

And then I got home and a cat had puked on the new couch.

But let me start at the beginning…

Two more weeks before the holidays. By January first, I have two grants due, one report due, a third grant and a second report that I would prefer done. I got the annual appeal to the printer yesterday, two or three weeks late depending on your perspective (but WOW did I learn so much about our FundEZ donor and accounting database. Now I have to review the volunteer graphic designer’s sketches for the annual report.

I have more than 20 years experience in communications, and a whole lot of confidence and creativity, but this nonprofit development stuff is a roller coaster! I love it, especially since I adore the agency’s mission and my coworkers but it’s been a few months of trail by fire.

So that was work.

I laugh a lot at work, or at least I try. Sometimes we all get a little too tense and afraid of making mistakes.

As the type of person who has no issue asking forgiveness instead of permission, I don’t have trouble admitting I did something wrong.

I tell my colleagues, don’t worry I don’t throw people under the bus.

I step right out in front of it.

After work I came home and took my daughter for sandwiches before I drove her to her interior design class at the local community college.

Park Avenue Market

The marching band, the local library, and probably every other fundraising entity around sell hoagie coupons for Park Avenue Market. They have _the best_ sandwiches.

Tonight I got Santa Fe turkey and bacon ranch cheddar. The teen got Lebanon bologna.

But then she saw the A-Treat display.

Everything from pumpkin to sasparilla to cranberry ginger ale. She got “Big Blue.” I got diet orange creamsicle.

We started to eat them in the car, which is why the photos are so dark. And I unwrapped my sandwich upside down and spilled it all over my lap. And a tomato shot right out of my sandwich into the crack between my seat and my console.

“This is why we don’t eat in the car,” I said.

“No,” she said.

“This is why you don’t eat in the car.”

Holiday cards

I’m not a fan of obligatory cards.

I recently hand-wrote a note card to a friend who’s also my employee whose dog had died the night before. I’m a writer, so I feel like cards can’t express what I can.

My mother, on the other hand, lives for cards. Whatever the occasion, it’s never complete for my mother unless a card is in the mail.

Which brings me to holiday cards. And be warned: I am probably expressing a very unpopular opinion.

I don’t like Christmas cards.

I feel the same way about Christmas cards as I do about Facebook birthday greetings. They aren’t genuine.

People who drop a note on your Facebook wall or send a holiday card often make no effort to stay in touch the rest of the year. Why bother now?

It’s okay to fall out of touch with people. Lives change. Circumstances change. I respect that some people feel the need to remind other people that we are all connected.

But how many cards will I get this year addressed to my soon-to-be ex-husband and I? So far, one. And it’s my first Christmas card of the season.

I have a lot of friends who call once a year or even every other year, but I just can’t feel good about exchanging cards with everyone in my address book just because it’s December.

Magical minor steps toward Christmas

Yesterday the teenager and I got the paint for the next phase of our living room remodel: the chalkboard paint accent wall. We were surprised to learn the paint store could make any paint chalkboard paint.

I got some Opalhouse accents from my room and bought a white fluffy “husband” pillow from Marshall’s and now the little green loveseat couch is super cozy.

So in my featured photo, I am wearing my new sassy Santa skirt also from Marshall’s and taking my turn on our new couch.

I am getting my Christmas tree next weekend and hosting a trim-the-tree party.

We have a week to clean house and get the living room done.

Christmas Traditions

My daughter and I are rapidly approaching the six-month-mark of being our own household. The strangeness of being the only parent in the house and the absence of another adult is starting to feel normal.

My feelings about Christmas

(Cultural Appropriation)

I can’t remember a time that I’ve been a fan of Christmas. It’s a holiday that emphasizes Christian hypocrisy in my mind, especially since most Christians don’t understand the manufactured nature of the holiday as stolen from pagan traditions to convert the masses into Christianity when the religion was new.

Most Christians I’ve been exposed to don’t understand the symbolic nature of Christmas and truly believe Jesus was born on December 25. They also don’t see the mixed message of celebrating a man they revere as an example of how to treat others and to behave in a ethically and morally decent way by saying a different mythically being breaks into your house to give you presents in an ostentatious display of hedonistic greed.

Christmas was always, to me, a blatant display of society’s preference toward the socio-economically privileged.

But I digress…

Making new Christmas traditions

This is my first Christmas in ten years not working retail. This is my first Christmas in my life where I have decided to build my own traditions and consider what I want instead of meeting family expectations.

So I’m working on it.

And after all these years of being a Christmas curmudgeon, it feels good.

I’ve always loved Christmas music. I already enjoyed Tuba Christmas and Small Business Saturday in downtown Easton.

(See more about that day and my visit with my friend Grinch here: The Christmas Season has launched.)

I also dug my Christmas socks and sweaters from storage. They were a mainstay of my Target career.

Three Christmas sweaters.

I wore the first of my Christmas sweaters yesterday. Meowy Christmas: worn with my colleague in mind. She has three cats.

As I hoped, she loved it.

On Wednesday I wore my Grinch shirt with my blazer to a holiday mixer of the Greater Lehigh Valley Chamber of Commerce (at Stoke in Downtown Easton). I ended up posing with Chamber officers in front of the Christmas tree.

I love my Christmas socks.

But I still digress…

This was supposed to talk about Christmas and my daughter…

Advent Calendar

Neither my daughter nor I ever had an advent calendar so we bought one at Lidl today.

But hey, I’ve babbled enough… I’ll just share the video:

Advent Excitement

Coming Home

Not only was it Monday.

But a Monday after a holiday.

During a winter storm.

And I don’t have proper winter shoes.

I’m in a new position at work, one I’ve held for three months, in an area where I have no experience. I’m trying to learn everything I can, but sometimes, or most of the time, I’m at a rodeo holding onto the bull and sometimes I’m getting my teeth knocked out.

I came home today with a pile of file folders in case the weather gets worse.

My teen daughter had painted more of the living room, did a bunch of chores of the variety I know she doesn’t like, and then, knowing my spirits were crushed, she made me dinner.

And asked her father to bring me a bottle of whiskey.

We had Pillsbury cinnamon buns and Jim Beam Honey for dessert.

I felt like it was 1952 and I was coming home from my fancy career. My daughter was my cute little 1950s housewife pouring me a drink.

Of course if I were keeping up with the analogy, we’d need two kids, a picket fence and a dog.

If you know my daughter, you know the thing she wants most in the world is a dog.

She’s so close and yet so far.

Failure

I want to talk for a minute about failure.

Sometimes I think we, as Americans in the 21st Century, stress too much and obsess too much about failure.

In the last six months, perhaps even the last year, I’ve hedged a lot of bets on new things. Some are simple things, like buying a car. Others are more complex, like accepting a new job and later a promotion into a position where I have no experience, only passion and my wits.

I enjoy new experiences, not everyone does. I love learning. I love challenges. I love some competition.

But with that comes failure. And sometimes we spend so much time on the failure that we don’t see how much progress we made before we failed.

It’s not even 9 a.m. on the last day of a long weekend. Probably my first relaxing long weekend since I started my new job in April. My time off prior to this was filled with parental duties or medical appointments.

Of course, I’ve slept in until 7 a.m. every day so the alarm tomorrow is going to be brutal. I have some very important projects on my desk and some meetings this week that also give me some concern.

The living room is completely dismantled, unpainted, and the furniture will arrive by the end of the week.

The teenager has a holiday concert on the same night I agreed to attend a party with my CEO. (In my defense, I thought she had her interior design class, which she does so she’s double-booked, too.)

Etc.

But this post is about failure.

If you look a few posts back, you’ll see that a good friend inspired me to buy The Whole 30. I read most of it, even did some grocery shopping, but never implemented it. It did force me to think more about what I was eating. I started tracking my macronutrients again and reducing my carbohydrates. Not in a low carb way. In a balanced way.

I am debating canceling my Planet Fitness membership. It’s been seven months and since school started, my teen and I have only gone 2-4 times a month. We both need it, but we’re not going. And I have free weights and the tools I need to get started again here at home. I joined the gym to motivate her and have more options since I’d maxed out at home.

So right now the gym is a failure, but at the same time fitness is very much on my mind and I wish I had it in me to resume my disciplined body building. (I did two or three home workouts this week. My goal is to break my bad habits before considering “New Year’s resolutions.”)

And finally, for the first time since I started making homemade bone broth a decade or so ago, I failed at that. For two days, I’ve had chicken bones from my freezer and the Thanksgiving turkey carcass in my crock pot. Somehow, overnight, ALL the liquid boiled off. ALL of it.

My “waste not, want not” attitude kicked in and mourned this tragedy. Then I remembered: I don’t like poultry broth. My daughter used to love chicken soup. But she doesn’t so much anymore. And I don’t really have room in the freezer. So maybe we didn’t need homemade soup right now.

Failure isn’t always bad. Sometimes it keeps you from expending energy in the wrong direction.

Scenes from the paint store

My daughter is taking a non-credit interior design certificate program at the local community college. I think that’s a fun and practical thing for a high schooler to do.

I’ve suggested from the get-go that she keep our house in mind.

A few months ago, I switched the living room and the dining room. It was something I always wanted to do, because the bright space by the windows seemed better for hanging out at the table. And the glare from the windows didn’t impact the television in the middle room.

I finally got rid of our 25 year old wicker furniture on the sun porch (an enclosed room facing south) and put our couch out there. The couch is too big to be in the “new” living room. And since my husband and I split up, I feel my house seems more and more like a 20-year-old’s first apartment.

I’ve been watching various retailers for reasonable furniture and I’m partial to Target.com because with the RedCard I can get free shipping and good deals. I asked my daughter if I could take advantage of the Black Friday online only furniture sale to buy an emerald green Chesterfield love seat.

She said I could ONLY if we painted.

So today we first went to Home Depot, but the store was very crowded and the shoppers were a tad obnoxious. Then we tried the Gleco Paint Store nearby. I start picking all the bold colors. She starts pulling me toward the pastels. I’m not fond of pastels.

She folds all the paint chips so I can’t see the bold colors.

We find a compromise.

She’s right that I shouldn’t put a bold color in that room because it doesn’t get enough light.

I’m excited to see how it looks.

My compost heap makes me happy

When my teen daughter still attended elementary school, I liked to garden. I have a small yard in an urban setting but it was enough to hold some herbs & a few vegetables.

I noticed quickly that my soil was mostly clay. To rectify this, I started composting.

I turned the area under my deck into my pile of decomposing refuse. I took a plastic coffee can with a lid and collected the compostables from our kitchen.

Now that plastic bucket gets stinky. But nothing a session with the hose can’t rectify.

The soil that this makes is so rich and dark.

It’s satisfying.

But it’s the “turning” that makes me happy. That’s when you periodically dig holes and bury your freshest fruit-and-vegetable bits to the bottom of the pile.

I have my own shovel and I love to dig and rearrange and mix all the different stages of compost.

It makes me happy.

Stress eating… hello Dunkin’ and Starbucks and bakeries

I have always had a love of candy.

And when I started working at Target, the baristas there extended my love of sweets to include various fancy overpriced coffee drinks. (Yes, Starbucks, that salted caramel mocha latte and the caramel ribbon Frappuccino are delicious.)

But when I started focusing on eating for health and bodybuilding, the sugar had to go.

Historically, I’ve never been a coffee drinker. But a bout with severe anemia ten years ago had me relying on a five-year-old making coffee because the afternoon sun had stolen all my energy on the walk home from her kindergarten class.

I would literally rest on the living room rug and that coffee would give me the energy to climb my way to the table.

So when I needed to end my sugar habit, I replaced it with a plain cup of coffee with a touch of cream. If I were hungry, that would stave my hunger until I made a proper snack. If I were eating out of boredom or emotion, the coffee gave me something to do.

But now, almost five years later, I realize I have become a stress-coffee-drinker. That if I’m gloomy, or tired, or bored, or upset, I go get a cup of coffee.

I’m still disciplined about sugar, though I am slipping back into my old ways, but I notice now I want coffee AND pastry.

Relationships with food can be tricky.