Tag fitness

Energized

Angel Ackerman 2 Comments

I’m energized in a way I haven’t been for a long time. And hopeful.

And once again I find myself greater for a strong, smart medical team that genuinely listens and cares.

It’s been a while since I had a medical update, and part of the reason for that is because of my high deductible medical plan that makes it more expensive to receive care. I am a big proponent of high deductible plans– because with an HSA they can save a lot of money, but I do not have an HSA. My current plan has out-of-pocket costs that are twice that of my previous plan. I’ll be paying $120 a month for the next two years to pay off my MRI from earlier this year.

And you haven’t seen any fitness entries because I haven’t worked out in a very long time. My coach at Apex Training took a hiatus for a family emergency and has not returned, and I no longer have the money. I have a feeling the guys at my gym would offer me some sort of deal– they have always been reasonable people, but life is so uncertain I just didn’t have it in me.

And food has also been an issue. As my food budget is also highly restricted.

These realities, especially for someone proud and stubborn like myself, are a constant reminder that it is not easy to be poor and take care of yourself, even without factoring in a disability. I believe having a mobility disability, which in my case is diplegia spastic cerebral palsy, makes me more away of how important diet and exercise are.

We all hear it all the time– that all of the body’s systems work together and that food, rest, and exercise provide the foundation and potential to fix a lot of problems. And in my case it’s easy to see the impact. It’s been about six months since I stopped working out, and my spasticity has reached a new level of inconvenience. I have spent much of my life in jobs that did not involve sitting behind a desk, and that, coupled with the lack of gym routine, has taught my muscles that we sit. And when my muscles learned something, they remember.

I need to start healthier routines. Eva is remodeling our garage and will move all of our weights, resistance bands and other equipment out there. And I am walking more. I get what I consider reasonable step counts about three times a week. I might even start walking the dog.

But about two weeks ago, I had my second episode of crippling muscle spasms after a day of walking. And I walked with a cane for a day. That also drove the reality home. I have never used a cane before.

In the midst of all of this, once I realized how out-of-shape and out-of-breath I was, I scheduled an appointment with my neurologist/physiatrist. This was a couple months ago and she couldn’t see me until Dec. 31 at 4 p.m. But they put me on a cancellation list and moved me to November 6.

My doctor arrived and immediately called me stylish, not knowing I picked my clothes to keep my weight the lightest possible and when she noticed my red boots, I had to let her know that they were on the floor next to my desk and I didn’t have it in me to look for other shoes. (But later in the visit, she acknowledged how my choice of boots also makes walking easier and the ankle height of the boot gives me more support. All part of why I love boots!)

She also commented about how long my hair has gotten, at which point I had to remind her that we hadn’t seen each other in more than a year. “Really?!?” she said. I nodded. (We set up another appointment for April so that doesn’t happen again.)

She gave me an exam and noted all my muscle tightness and had me walk around the office for her. And we talked about my hopes to improve my habits– because I know my role in my situation accounts for most of my everyday problems.

(And my cardiologist never got back to me about going off my beta blocker, but I did stop taking it. I have seen more incidents of high heart rate, but nothing significant or repeated, and most of it can be explained by diet or exercise. Eat a Little Caesars pizza? End up with a racing heartbeat. Do short stints of rapid walking? Also high heart rate.)

She suggested I resume taking my baclofen regularly and to up the dose to 10 mg if needed, up to 3 times per day. I took it regularly while working in the warehouse and have been taking it now when I feel I “need” to.

As she made a written note of all my lower body muscle issues, she asked if I might be interested in an ambulatory referral to a medical fitness exercise specialist at St. Luke’s Anderson Fitness & Sports Performance Center. “Sure,” I said.

They called me while I was driving home.

And when I learned it was $99 for the three-month fitness program and that insurance might even pay it, I really was glad I decided to go see my doctor. I made an appointment for intake evaluation on Monday and maybe soon I’ll be using my Clever Fox Fitness journal.

This is what the website says:

Medically-based exercise programs for those with a chronic disease and / or disability. Designed to increase exercise tolerance and enhance functional capacity. For all ages.
Join us and get ready to THRIVE!
$99 three-month fitness memberships are available to all patients and clients referred from St. Luke’s Weight Management, Physical Therapy at St. Luke’s, St. Luke’s Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation, St. Luke’s Physicians and St. Luke’s Oncology.

https://www.slhn.org/fitness/fitness

Day 5 of Omada: Wondering if it’s a scam

Angel Ackerman 2 Comments

I feel like I have said a lot of this a lot of times so bear with me as I say it again.

The background

About 10 years ago, I decided to try to lose five-to-ten pounds. Approaching my 40th birthday, I needed to shed some weight before my annual physical. I worked at Target at the time where I walked 14,000 to 17,000 steps a day. I started weight training again, primarily because I had broken my right hand at work and could not untwist the soda fountain nozzles at night. No hand strength left. I worked primarily closing shift and I would get up, do my weights and walk 2-4 miles around my neighborhood. Every day. I counted calories and perfected my macronutrients and I felt invincible.

I lost 30 pounds in less than six weeks– while weight training. I dropped too much too fast and I had to buy a fitbit to make sure I was eating enough.

I worked really hard to regain weight and muscle.

But now, I’m approaching fifty. I have reached an all-time high with my weight– weighing the same thing I did on the day my daughter was induced 20 years ago. I have gained a little more than 30 pounds in the four years since the pandemic and a lot of other personal events.

And as someone with a mobility disability, that weight impacts everything even more than it does for the average person. I went to the gym religiously for three years, but I didn’t have the willpower or the finances to stick with good habits. Because it’s cheaper to eat the $1 McChicken and $1 diet Coke than it is to make your own chicken sandwiches.

The present decision: Omada

I know what to do. I understand nutrition and everything I do wrong. But I need someone to hold me accountable because my personal discipline is gone. Today is my sixth day participating in Omada– a free-to-me program through my medical insurance company– and I went on a small binge last night.

Perhaps my opinions will change, but I think Omada is a scam. And I think the bulk of the program is driven by AI.

But let me summarize the philosophy of the program.

There is no calorie counting. No exercise tracking but steps. So if you want your weight-training to count you have to convert it to steps, which makes no sense. I understand the idea behind tracking meal choices and not calories or macros. The program wants you to study your choices and habits to make meaningful change.

I’m using the Omada app AND MyFitnessPal and I’m still not making good choices or creating positive change. I’ve participated in my group’s discussions. And I’ve sent a long introductory message to my coach. And I reported a tech issue regarding my scale the day I received it.

I remedied the problem with the scale, so I thought they saw that I was using it and that’s why they didn’t get in touch. Turns out, it just took a week.

So I told my coach my history, and after the first day of tracking she mentioned she saw evidence of stress eating in my day’s choices. I thought to myself, “Really?”

Now to me, stress eating is eating a family size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I reviewed my first day’s food. For lunch I had one leftover slice of pizza because I came home from a meeting extremely hungry, and in the evening I had a small individual bag of vegan gummy bears. My calorie count for the day ended around 1400.

Did she think I ate a whole pizza?

I replied, “It was just a busy day. I had a lot of meetings, but I think I made good choices.”

She asked, “Would you like some strategies for eating on the go?”

And I responded, “I have my strategies, but many of them include food I can’t afford right now like my KIND oatmeal breakfast bars that have 8 grams of protein perfect to tide me, and I don’t eat out because my grocery budget is around $100/month.”

Which if you ever read my posts on grocery shopping, you’ll know that’s true.

Screenshot
Screenshot
Screenshot

She responded with tips like eating slower and putting my utensils down (which my message to her pointed out that I did not eat before the meeting, came home very hungry and then took the easy way out, which has nothing to do with eating too much at meals) and how to be smarter about eating out (when I said I don’t have the money to eat out). I believe this list of suggestions came from a chat bot who recognized the phrase “meetings” “busy” and “on the go.”)

No mention of the fact that my grocery budget is below poverty level. A person might want to address that first.

The research

My reporter’s instincts kicked in at this point.

I was already perturbed that it gave me a step goal of 7500 a day without any consideration of my health, my current activity level or my goals.

As a person who works at home at my desk for nine to twelve hours a day I get about 4000 steps on an average day. If I walk to do my errands or take a leisurely stroll around the mall, I get 6500 steps. The last time I hit 10,000 steps I spent the next day in painful muscle spasms. My point is– you need to gradually increase your activity level, especially if you have preexisting conditions.

To qualify for Omada, you need to have a weight problem, a heart condition or diabetes (or prediabetes). I am overweight, ended up in the hospital with Afib last year and had gestational diabetes which puts me at risk for prediabetes. AND I have cerebral palsy.

For people with heart conditions or obesity, is it safe to suddenly walk 7500 steps a day?

I looked online. How does Omada get paid?

Insurance companies pay Omada based on how much patients interact with their devices.

So, Omada gets paid every time I step on the scale.

This is bullshit.

And last night, after a day of decent eating, I added on an extra 500 calories of a peanut chew-style candy, gin and juice and freeze-dried fruit that I didn’t put on the app.

Screenshot
Screenshot

All things fitness, mobility and service dog

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

The last week or so I feel like my strength in the gym (Apex Training) has been dead on– the lifts have come easily and even as my feet/lower body doesn’t cooperate, I seem to get the job done without compromising my other body parts. Andrew, my fitness trainer and strength coach, has been a wonderful support and motivator as life has gotten dramatic and hectic for both of us.

Today I lifted a new PR on bench press– I am up to 80 pounds! As for flexibility and core strength, from my angle it fluctuates every day but Andrew points out a lot of his observations which suggest I am improving more than I might realize. I have noticed that I stumble less, even as my toes drag and my balance falters, knock on wood I have not fallen since Sept. 30.

I have gained back all of the weight I lost, between gin sours and peanut m&m’s and all sorts of chips from the Dollar Tree. And too much pizza! Even with The Teenager home after having her wisdom teeth plus a back molar removed, I’m still eating too much junk– milkshakes, cheese curds, the Wawa chicken fingers and french fries, Macs received for free with minimum purchase of a Diet Coke for me and a Sprite for the Teen all in the name of surgery recovery.

Meanwhile, I can see my muscles gain definition so I know if I’d stop putting junk in my body ALL THE TIME, I could really lean out and have great tone. But the immediate satisfaction of treats and savory, salty foods steals my discipline and knowledge every time.

As if that alone weren’t enough to kick my ass back where it needs to be, I’m starting to believe that the occasional out-of-breath episodes I’m having are symptoms of exercise-induced asthma. My allergies have been bad. The weight doesn’t help. And I noticed more and more that it comes on all of a sudden, even when I’m walking on a flat surface setting my own pace and not with anyone else, and I cannot get air into my lungs until I repeatedly take breaths through my nose and get a breath deep into my chest.

Today, it happened at the gym. I have never had anything like this happen at the gym. I was doing sets of 25 crunches on the exercise ball and really had trouble catching my breath at the end of the set. And I love those crunches! I normally knock them out like a beast!

Light Mobility Service Dog Update

Yesterday I was scheduled to meet with my caseworker at Susquehanna Service Dogs on Zoom. She asked if we could please reschedule for today and as I kept the end of the week open not knowing how the Teen would do with surgery, it worked out fine.

Today the Teen, myself and the caseworker met to discuss what my dog might be trained to do as a task for me, any concerns I might have, and some more updates about my lifestyle. The number one goal I have for this endeavor is to be able to go on walks by myself without fear. I miss my days of going for a 4-mile walk in the morning. I want that piece of mind. The other tasks that I asked for are help retrieving things from the ground when I can’t bend, carrying items I might have in my hand if I find myself struggling for balance, and getting a first aid kit if I need one.

100 by Christmas

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment
Yes, that’s Andrew and I

My trainer Andrew announced that he thought I could bench 100 lbs by Christmas. This was after I benched 80 lbs for three solid reps. It was a new personal record for me and another reinforcement that I have regained strength in 2023, despite the health issues.

I told him that after the Christmas season challenges we already have listed on the public goal board at the gym, we need to add the next goals for my birthday in late May and another set for my 50th birthday in 2025.

But, even while my strength increases, my stress eating continues. Now, I aim for 1300-1500 calories a day so that even if I “binge” I don’t do too much damage. Nowadays, I often hit 2000 calories only on a bad eating day.

Today for breakfast I did not go for my usual bagel with cream cheese, avocado or even more decadent brie. I had one serving of Cabot cottage cheese (it’s very decadent and smooth), a golden kiwi, about a cup of raspberries, and a cold matcha latte, my style, made with sweetened matcha powder, unflavored whey powder and unsweetened, organic coconut milk that was delightfully hearty and robust. The breakfast came to 400 calories– including the cup of coffee with half and half I had four hours earlier (and come to think of it, I never finished it. Not only did it have lots of satisfying fat to tide me, but it also had 27 grams of protein.

I have a networking event I plan to attend later in the day, at a brewery, so I had lunch at 2 p.m. and decided to stay with the high protein low cal effort. I used a whole wheat tortilla to hold almost a cup of chopped romaine lettuce and a serving of Penn Valley homestyle chicken salad. I added a small glass of diet Ocean Spray ruby red grapefruit juice and a dessert– Chobani zero sugar Greek yogurt. That meal was a little more than 400 calories and also 27 grams of protein, but I did not finish the yogurt.

Tomorrow I have a working interview, my second, for a job where I would need black pants. So, yesterday Southern Candy, The Teenager and I went to the thrift store. My four pairs of pants came to about $8, and three of them fit.

Small goals for a rainy day

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I don’t have the energy and the endurance that I once did. I can no longer drive myself to clean the house in a frenzy or bake all my bread from scratch.

I’ve gotten older.

My… constitution?… does not maintain consistency. Whereas it used to be my moods that swung, now my body’s functionality waxes and wanes.

So far today I have:

  • Folded laundry, and done another load
  • Did the hand wash dishes
  • Cleaned most of the stuff off the corner table
  • Had a glass of water, and a glass of iced tea
  • Cleaned the cat boxes in my room
  • Fed the bird
  • Vacuumed
  • And made amazing vegan flautas with Hungryroot cashew cheddar

I started Five Days at Memorial on Apple TV while I hung out with the dog.

And made great strides cuddling foster Jennifer Grey.

FURR Foster Jennifer Grey

With my walking being so unstable, I’m extra proud to announce that Friday night I squatted 135 lbs.

I started taking the Baclofen my neurologist prescribed and we’ll see if that makes walking easier.

And I’ve been sleeping 9-10 hours a night over the last few days so hopefully that also means my body is getting some recovery time.

Last but not least, I’ve been trying really hard to reduce sugars, refined carbohydrates and processed foods from my diet to test if that will lower the amount of inflammation in my body.

Eating of the things, talking about politics, etc.

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

First, let’s celebrate that I have no pain today.

Second, let’s celebrate that it’s sun-shining gorgeous out.

Third, let’s celebrate that that damn race between Dr. Oz and John Fetterman is over. Talk about two bad choices.

But it sure was exciting to take my freshly-minted 18-year-old to vote and even more exciting to hear her rant about international politics after she took my out to dinner.

M and I took her to Paris, Moscow and Kazan the summer she turned 12… and while it was a whirlwind visit, she had the brain-expanding experience I hoped she would have.

Because she knows how little of the world she’s seen, but also knows how little she can trust depictions of other cultures perpetuated by the mainstream.

I often wish I could see Russia how she sees Russia. I imagine it’s similar to my view, but also very different because I have seen parts of North and East Africa and even Yemen. But just that little pop of Russia six years ago altered her perceptions forever.

If you want to read more about that trip, click here to start in the middle.

The beginning of the trip is here.

So, last night, The Teenager took me out to dinner— at Applebee’s, she loves the fiesta lime chicken— and we tried the Cheetos cheese curds and the slamming reindeer drink.

The cheese curds were strange, super greasy and very addictive.

Other foods I have taste-tested recently include the cookie butter doughnut at Dunkin which I mention here and some new flavors of delicious Blue Diamond almonds which we bought at QuickChek, video here.

I ended up calling out sick from work today— in part because of my hip and in part because I didn’t get to sleep until 3.

I see my specialist today, and my body is definitely stiff and angled but I’m not in pain. What a thing to say— but I wanted to be in pain to explain how I feel to the doctor.

I’m trying to motivate myself to give up sugar and do a 30 day elimination diet via Whole30 as I think reducing food-related inflammation in my body could go a long way. And there are others who would like to see me try medical marijuana.

When success means you think someone is trying to kill you

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

During one of my recent doctor visits, I think it was at the end of August, my physician asked how my strength/fitness personal training sessions were going.

I told him my coach Andrew at Apex Training put me through some demanding stuff so I was in agony pretty often.

My doctor laughed and said that if Andrew was doing his job well I should hate him.

Well, today was the closest I ever came to thinking he might kill me.

Now, if you are new here, please note I have diplegic cerebral palsy (which basically means that my brain and my lower body muscles don’t communicate well, which has led to some structural issues in my hips, legs, etc.

I work out three-times-a-week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Andrew has his full-time job, which is primarily an overnight shift, and I work at a warehouse Sunday through Wednesday, 10-hour-shifts.

Mondays are always interesting. I am 50% through my workweek and Andrew is usually sleep-deprived.

By some miracle, I work 6:30 am to 5 pm and head straight to the gym, and Andrew comes to the gym, often having not slept for almost 24 hours. But he shows up and so do I.

Tonight was a full body workout that felt twice as intense as my normal routine, but it felt amazing to push myself and even more amazing to succeed.

And because Andrew knows what I’m feeling — not only as a person working to better myself physically but also as someone still grieving the loss of her father— he forgave me for eating half a cake for my dad’s birthday.

But I also asked him if some people had stopped working out three times a week. He say yes, that several of his clients were sporadic. One changed work schedules and hadn’t committed to a new time. And two of us were regulars.

I get life being in the way. I know it’s hard. I know it’s expensive.

But I encourage you to stick to it.

I started at Apex in August 2021. Somehow despite a tight budget, I find the money.

And for all those people who can’t stick with it— I promise:

  • You will see mental and physical changes in yourself.
  • You will feel better.
  • Your body composition will change.
  • Your fortitude will grow.

And you should also see changes in your balance, stability and coordination. The things you can do, whether stamina on a long walk or moving furniture, will improve. Your confidence should increase.

And some days it will feel grueling. Some days you will be exhausted or achy and not want to do it. On those days, tell your trainer how you feel, but show up for the workout and do your best.

It feels like a new level of training

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

Andrew, my strength and fitness coach at Apex Training, has reached new levels of sadism.

I said that (partially) in jest because I love to see his face get that pensive squint when he’s digesting my regular updates of how my body feels and what my other professionals report about its function.

I feel like since my finger recovered from my burst tendon, I’ve reached new heights in stamina and my own strength. Last week, I hit a PR (personal record) with a 35-lb dumbbell row.

And things just feel like they are moving better. I’ve stumbled more than usual, but caught my balance 90 % of the time. I have less pain and I think I understand the pain better.

I’m working out three times a week and doing movements, with support Andrew has designed, like split leg squats that are torture (in a good way) and that I never thought I could do. I even work out after my ten-hour shifts at the Stitch Fix Bizzy Hizzy warehouse.

It’s hard, and exhausting, but I really think it helps get blood flow into all my aching parts and aids my sleep and ultimate recovery.

And today Andrew let me beat the big tire with a mace.

Speaking of Stitch Fix, the company has opted to move the Sunday to Wednesday 10-hour cohort. We get to choose which of the remaining shifts we want to transfer to and I’ll be putting in for the remaining 10-hour cohort, Wednesday to Saturday.

Frankly, the idea of working 5 days a week is horrifying. And I’m not thrilled with the prospect of losing my current shift.

But a warm gluten-free brownie sundae with Ben & Jerry’s cannoli ice cream softened the blow.

PS —

I put my underwear on backwards today. All day I kept wondering why my underpants felt so uncomfortable.

My body feels wonderful… and other ridiculous tales

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

This week has been a roller coaster— but isn’t that just the way? People have been telling me I look like I’m loosing weight but I don’t know if that’s true.

The teenager took the dog for a rainy walk at Lafayette College the other day. She sent several very lovely photos.

I have many odds and ends making life out of the ordinary from little foster kitten Jean-Paul Sartre to my dear friend Nan moving from my neighborhood to a senior community.

Nancy in her new place

I ordered a kitchen scale off Target.com to measure Jean-Paul’s growth. He’s up to 1 lb 5 ounces. That was after a big breakfast of pate and kitten milk. He has a hearty appetite and screams for food like any baby does every 4 hours.

He is super inquisitive and smart. He carries tiny toys around in his mouth and plays with our dog, Bean. (Here’s a video.)

Meanwhile, guest fosters Coffee Bean & Pinto Bean are having fun in my room. Khloe and Louise do not like having babies around, but the cockatoo Nala sure does.

For some humor, let’s mention that the Teenager recently discovered that the Morningstar Farms breakfast Pattie’s I have been feeding her for almost two decades are vegetarian. She called her dad to find out if he had been in on this secret.

We never hid that they weren’t real sausages from her and she’s been able to read for a long time. The shock was real, and she’s still talking about it days later.

She didn’t have a chance to go grocery shopping for her nights in the kitchen. I suggested using my Hungryroot ancient grain gluten free pancake mix and the Morningstar sausages. It was a lovely, hearty breakfast-for-dinner. And like she had accused me of when she first discovered my fake breakfast meat, “It was all a lie.”

The teen also got her first fix from Stitch Fix and it came from the warehouse where I work, the Bizzy Hizzy. Click the photo to see her unbox.

Click to see what’s in the box

Speaking of work, I took voluntary time off on Monday and my stats were 100%, 88% and 98%. Andrew at Apex Training has been working be hard with exercises like split leg squats. My quads feel it. My balance is improving, my aches and pains feel like muscle fatigue and not deeper pain or joint issues. I have caught myself almost falling several times, and can sometimes feel my leg scissoring or even notice my left foot dragging behind before it trips me.

Even my chiropractor, Nicole Jensen of Back in Line Chiropractic and Wellness Center has made comments about how well my body is moving and how things are improving. Today she said my right side was locked up, when it’s usually my left, and that everything went back where it belonged easily.

When I hopped off the table, she told me to look at myself. “I have never seen you stand up with your feet so firmly planted and your poster straight,” she said.

And I felt it, I felt really solid.

So I don’t know if this is where I confess I tried the new Wingstop chicken sandwich. Most of my diet lately has been vegan. But last night I hadn’t had dinner, it was 8 pm and my body was devastated (in that good way). I could barely move after my shower. I considered skipping dinner.

But then I thought about my food intake for the day:

  • 4:30 am: Supercoffee dark roast with half and half
  • 5:30 am: Wawa coffee con lèche (it was a bribe to make myself go get gas)
  • 6:30 to 8:30 am: 20 oz water
  • 9 am: Kind Peanut Butter Breakfast bar and about 3 oz cranberry juice cocktail
  • 9:30 to 11:30 am: 20 oz water
  • 12:15 pm: quinoa with roast zucchini, white beans and my home canned roasted tomatoes, 6 oz Diet Pepsi
  • 2 to 5 pm: 20 oz water
  • 5:30 pm: sunflower seeds
  • 6 pm: 12 oz cucumber water

I thought a chicken sandwich would be good for protein and I saw the commercial for Wingstop’s new chicken sandwich on Hulu. It was good, not as big as I thought a sandwich from a chicken joint would be— but to be able to slather any sauce from their menu on our was really cool. I had a mango habanero sandwich and a side order of the honey hot rub boneless wings. It hit the spot.

Walking, workouts and waffles

Angel Ackerman Leave a comment

I did not work a full ten hour day any day this week. But you know what? That’s okay.

My stats on Sunday were 105%, then 98 Monday, 88 yesterday and 94 today. What happened?

I don’t know. I was in pain Monday, stiff and uncomfortable yesterday and almost fell today but caught my balance.

And then Andrew at Apex put me through legs. We did split leg squats and he got to watch my hip do the funky angles it does. And I got to feel every fiber in my knees, quads and hamstrings.

Plus, I walked more than 8,000 steps today while my legs were stiff. Well after that workout they are not stiff but jelly.

The Teenager showed one of her dog walking clients some of the neighborhood dogs and their tricks— here is the video.

And then for the final event of the day we went to Waffle House as earlier this month we had heard that August 24 was National Waffle Day.

I had a scrumptious hash brown bowl with egg, cheese and jalapeños.

We split a peanut butter blueberry waffle.

These are the moments to treasure.