I’ve had fake nail tips and my nails done in acrylic for a little more than a month now. My real nails are just about as long as the tips now! (My friend and nail tech reshapes them when I go in for my fills.

On Friday, I popped off one of the tips (opening cat litter) and was pleasantly surprised to see a lovely, long, healthy nail underneath.

So when I went for my fill on Saturday that nail is now my real nail!

But speaking about fake body parts, today I went in for my permanent crown. The temporary gave me no trouble. I had high hopes for my real one.

It sat too high. The dentist knew it was and starting removing surface was the tooth above it. It hurt. I almost started to cry from the anxiety. And I told the dentist the crown felt okay.

I don’t do well with this dentist— he’s very sweet and quiet but he doesn’t tell me what he’s doing and I need communication or I freak out.

Like I did today.

I mentioned to someone it didn’t feel right. She suggested I figure out whether it was or not because I couldn’t have a crown that was misaligning my bite.

So I tried to eat.

I couldn’t.

I called the dentist’s office and cried to the receptionist. I can’t go back to that nice man, I said. He’s too quiet. She said she’d set me up with my dentist if 30 years.

Except when I got there I got the same hygienist I had earlier in the day and she drilled off pieces of my crown and my actual tooth. You know, the one that was hurting me earlier.

It instantly felt much better and I asked if they had a sandwich for me to test it.

They did not. But the hygienist said I could come back tomorrow if I needed to.

Three times in two days?

So I came home and ate lunch. A small lunch. At 3. And it didn’t feel right. I don’t know if something is exposed in that upper tooth or it’s just sensitive. But it’s sore. And the it hurts to bite on the left. And harder to bite on the right now. The bite has to be off yet.

I’m incredibly hungry and defeated.