The night air hangs crisply around me as I sit on a cold stone bench listening to the marching band.

I can see every star and that amazes me since we are in town— light pollution everywhere.

I am thoroughly exhausted. I do get scared. But I still feel, even through this lonely melancholy, so much hope and thankfulness.

It’s a hard world out there right now, and I’ve been job hunting, building a business, volunteering with a local non-profit as their communications director and fostering feral kittens— in addition to parenting not one but two teenagers.

This crazy conglomeration of circumstances has brought me a great amount of joy as I try not to disappoint these teenagers, the cockatoo, or any of the 14 cats. Oh wait— that’s 13 now. We get rehome the black one and now we have 13 cats? That can’t be good.

I’ve used some of this time under the pandemic to expand my make-up looks.

And my lack of steady income has led me to search for the best bargains possible… Got this toilet paper at CVS for $3.61.

And as the days turn cold, I found my favorite tunic nightgown and whipped out my witch socks.

In the midst of this I think of all the friends who’ve lent a helping hand… the former work colleague who sent $20 and said “do something for yourself,” the college friend who sent a random check, my estranged husband who brought over groceries when I needed them, the new friend who gave me a $25 Dunkin gift card and showed me how to apply for food stamps, the friend who emptied her cupboards, the friend who waxed my brows and did my nails…

And I am so grateful.

My food stamps came in, and tomorrow I planned to go grocery shopping.

And much to my surprise another benefactor came forward today.

These will pay for what food stamps won’t— soap, garbage bags, cat food, cat litter, maybe even a rotisserie chicken. And I won’t have to wait for $9 in Extra Bucks, a 40% off coupon, and a manufacturer coupon to go get toilet paper.

I think about my job hunt (I have three pre-interview kind of situations happening this week. Interviewing in Covid is a weird combo of essay tests, screening questions, phone calls and video chats.)

And I’ve been touring office spaces with ASPIRE to Autonomy so seeing their vision become a reality makes me happy.

I have five interns that report to me now… I love seeing them grow.

And I have a new marketing client. Most of our work together will probably be in trade as she is starting a new small business.

I still feel like something good is on the horizon.