Hello, my regular readers.
I have a health update for everyone and I hope to type that later today, but for now: Here is yesterday’s post from Parisian Phoenix Publishing.
Our Art Director Gayle Hendricks has officially revealed the cover to Courting Apparitions, the second book in the Fashion and Fiends series and sequel to Manipulations.
(Speaking of Manipulations, our carton of books in anticipation of the upcoming Third Annual Easton Book Festival arrived today and Angel Ackerman and the family dog hosted an unboxing. See it here.)
Gayle did not use stock photos or art for the cover but built a poppet herself and shot it in the university photo lab.
We ran a poll on LinkedIn to ask whether people preferred the poppet with or without the necklace. No results yet.
Turns out, the denim fabric of the doll’s body came from the discarded jeans of a mutual friend’s brother. Or, so her Facebook page declares.
The book will be released in late November, so if the first book left you wanting more…
I still haven’t heard from either my gynecologist or my primary care physician— and the mental and physical struggle has been rough. It’s ironic, since my daughter thought she say worms in the dog’s poop and within 24 hours she had lab results and preventative medication.
Luckily, I’ve been able to engage my chiropractor (the beyond amazing Nicole Jensen of Back in Line Wellness Center in Easton, Pa.’s College Hill neighborhood) in this journey to discover and maximize the potential of my disabled body.
(Which I am told today is World Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day, not that I ever even heard of it or noticed anybody celebrating.)
I told her this past week has been hard and strange with familiar pain and symptoms coming at the wrong time of the month and new symptoms happening now.
But I also admitted that some of these symptoms— like my swollen legs last night— could be explained by my behavior. Cheeto binge this weekend, for example.
Last night, I performed at only 83% when I had folded those clothes at 100% or higher all week despite pain. My knees had intense intermittent pain and my legs felt completely wooden, like they didn’t even have joints.
The chiropractor laughed at my ownership of my Cheeto binge and said that, yes, that might have something to do with it.
And she commented during my adjustment that my body and I are managing life and my symptoms much better in general.
But here is the “good news”—
My hip was crooked. The right side of my hip was significantly higher than my left and probably had been since the pain started last week. I attributed it to the same old pain but it was probably new and unique pain.
So then the chiropractor mentioned what I have been trying to articulate.
I used to have periodic bouts with high levels of pain when joints would seize and shift and muscles would spasm.
Now, with my exercise regimen and some of my other behavior change, I am experiencing lower levels of pain more frequently, but that pain is emotionally disturbing because I am aware of and used to the conditions that send my body into a flare and am doing everything I can to prevent those situations.
So it’s a perpetual game of anticipating what might be next. And how bad it will be or get before I find relief.
I told her I have had much success with CBD cream and she recommended trying a daily dose of the oils to see if that could help from the inside out.
I’m enthusiastically giving it a shot as over-the-counter painkillers like acetaminophen and ibuprofen don’t help.
And the “not knowing” because of slow response time from my medical team is crippling to my mental health.
Pun intended.
I actually emailed my therapist yesterday and it must have been a good email because I got a response asking if he could call me for a check in, which I said yes to, and he called to do a wellness check to make sure I was safe.
Odd how that can make a person feel “loved.”
Now my hip is back in place, I took my vitamins and my CBD oil and prepared my final Purple Carrot meal from my box. This one— apricot sticky rice— even the teenager loved.
Angel asked me to do a guest blog post for Parisian Phoenix Publishing, and I don’t do blogs (although I should), but for Angel I cannot say no.
You see, she and Gayle are more just than my friends.
Angel wanted to know how I feel about “joining the Parisian Phoenix family.” I have a piece in their upcoming anthology. It is my honor. In one way or another, Angel especially, and more recently Gayle, are already family.
We writers and literary professionals are members of the writer-reader family. We count ourselves among those who love books—we are all connected.
Writers are the deepest members of this diverse association. If blood is thicker than water the blood that runs between writers is hot lava.
Writers need writers. Us weirdoes understand each other. You readers get to partake in the result. Affections run deep between people who work together, accomplish together…
This is another in my ongoing series about life with cerebral palsy, a disability no one I know seems to understand.
I have eaten thousands of extra calories this weekend. I can’t stop myself. My weight has hit an all-new, all-time high and I am deeply ashamed of my behavior.
I wrote my primary care physician an email midday Thursday after I called out sick from work, but before I slept 12+ hours. I told him: I know you don’t have the answers regarding my cerebral palsy and its long term effect. I know I walk funny and that has caused arthritis type issues in my hip, my SI joint specifically. I understand from working with my chiropractor (Nicole Jensen, Back In Line) who used to be a physical therapist that the instability in my lower body, especially as I compensate when I am pain, comes from these complications. But the only thing that helps the pain is the CBD creams I get online— Charlotte’s Web and CBD Medic specifically.
I have 2-6 bad days a month, usually a couple every two weeks, reinforcing the idea that my late 40-something menstrual cycle is compounding issues. I only get cramps in my back, but I’m also experiencing pain at ovulation.
And it’s bad pain. Just like all my other pain. All in my lower back.
My new gynecologist listened to my complaints of long-term anemia (which makes me too weak to properly deal with all these other struggles), heavy bleeding, pain every two weeks and massive blood clots exiting my body, and prescribed a couple ultrasounds.
The results have been in for almost two weeks and I can see them but I don’t understand them but they did find things, even if not large and scary, but internal organs are small.
I told him, I work with a personal trainer three times a week, and except for stress eating, I eat well and take all my vitamins. I even scheduled my upcoming follow-up bloodwork.
So which doctor do I need to talk to because my schedules anemia follow up is Nov. 2, and I would like to know if any of this can be treated and/or how permanent it is and/or will it get worse?
Meanwhile, my blind friend Nan and I visited Park Avenue Market, one of our favorite places. We both order liverwurst from the deli.
The man slicing our meat, who knows us at this point, comments that he doesn’t know how people can eat liverwurst.
I told him I don’t even like it. It is a little nasty, but that this liverwurst is better than off-the-rack liverwurst. That I’m not a big meat eater and I struggle with getting enough iron as I have a history of anemia. With the right cheese, it’s not so bad, especially with lettuce and good bread.
It’s inexpensive— so if I get sick of it I feed it to the dog and the dog loves me.
He laughed.
“So, you’re buying liverwurst for medicinal purposes?” he remarked.
I haven’t written in a while and I may keep this one skeletal.
I called out sick from work on Thursday and skipped my workout as I woke up in the same pain I had when I went to bed.
I thought I would rest in bed with my laptop and work more on the Parisian Phoenix website, my erotica collection, or even book four of the Fashion and Fiends series, Road Trip.
But instead I had my first Big Mac ever (which is especially odd since I worked my way through college at a McDonalds), ate too much candy and slept for 12 hours straight. The cats did not know what to make of that.
Are you curious how I responded to the Big Mac? See that here.
Friday I moved a little slow but still got decent numbers in QC folding clothes and after work ate too many cheese curls.
But, in my defense, they were amazing cheese curls— sour cream and cheddar— that I found at my local Dollar Tree.
Speaking of food, I also made my final Green Chef meal. Video here. I cheated a bit, adding beef tips, and forgot the pecans and the vegan aioli but it still tasted great.
Tonight I made Purple Carrot’s Fieldstone sausages with roasted fingerling potatoes and vegetables. Another great dish. I also made a side of “leftover sauce” pasta, mixing up every scrap from the fridge.
This morning, the teenager and I met up with Dan at Apex training and I did some lower body while Dan taught the teen to do barbell squats. He started by giving her the bar and evaluating her form and then he gave her some weight.
I think she used some muscles in her knees and legs that she has never used before, not with that range of motion. Let’s just say she was walking like me on the way home.
Then we treated ourselves to some egg sandwiches, grabbed the dog and went to the Feline Urban Rescue and Rehab Yard sale and cake auction. The child spent all my money— but we didn’t buy any cake. She got dog supplies and the massive dog now has a mermaid flotation device and a puffer jacket. And I have my third tea pot in two years. The teenager kills my tea pots.
Even the cats got goodies. See the new water fountain here.
I never saw a cake auction before and it was certainly more fun than the livestock auctions I’ve seen.
The dog was so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open in the car on the way home.
Then I came home and made a video I’ve been putting off. I kept planning to get a little dressed up, do my makeup, set up a cozy spot on the sunporch and made a video of me reading a little of my novel.
Instead, I did it in sweatpants on the couch with the dog. See it here.
Today I did some work on the Parisian Phoenix Publishing website. (I also did two loads of laundry, emptied the dishwasher, edited a press release for anti-trafficking human services non-profit ASPIRE, and cleaned a whole bunch of cat boxes before helping my daughter with her English paper and heading to the Bizzy Hizzy.)
I should type this post a little faster as it is already almost 2 a.m. and I have my alarm set for 9:30 to meet with my personal trainer Dan at Apex Training for our 27th weightlifting session.
But I have to write this, because I had FOUR colleagues approach me about my book today. I gave them my personal business card as I don’t have the publishing company cards ready yet. This oversight was by design as I didn’t plan on printing the cards until closer to the launch of the second book, when the web site would be finished and a marketing plan in place.
So, if you are from Stitch Fix and found your way here looking for information on my novel (including links on where to buy), you can click here.
Also, I have to report to the world at large that after two fantastic, fully-performing days at work, my body took a functional nose dive. By the end of the night, I was at a seven or eight in pain physically and quite near my breaking point psychologically.
That is why I am sograteful to my “midnight society” colleagues at work who took the time to ask me questions about my creative ventures. Their interest really did pull me out of my discomfort. And it really makes me feel seen as a person to have so many random people approach me after I told one person about my novel (because she’s a cat person).
Last week, another colleague started reading my book in the break room.
Last night I not only made my metrics at work but I surpassed them. 106% without any accommodation for the six-minute all hands meeting we had or the observation with my supervisor. My legs are no longer hurting and it feels like my back pain is a one instead of a five or more.
Today was my 26th session with my trainer Dan at Apex Training and we worked on upper body, I was bench pressing some 25 pound dumbbells— almost was able to do 30.
Still no update from my medical team after receiving the results from the ultrasounds about 10 days ago. They found some things, not too big or suspicious things but things that may explain my symptoms I hope.
But the fun thing is I finally got my Purple Carrot box. And had my Green Chef Maple-Glazed Carrot power bowl for dinner.
Green Chef Power Bowl
I ate the bowl without the green goddess dressing and still thought it was amazing. Why can I not remember what the first Green Chef meal was? Ah, the farfalle with Brussels.Making the Farfalle.
Today’s Purple Carrot unboxing can be viewed here.
The refried butternut squash tacos were a great light meal.
The bottom left is prepared according to the recipe.
I have mixed feelings about surprises. I like good, controlled surprises but I hate when people try to pull one over on me.
But I do like surprising people.
That statement came from one of my bosses tonight after she heard I wrote a novel that had been published by Parisian Phoenixand was available at major online retailers. (Like here.)
“I didn’t know you were a writer.”
I mentioned it to her because I know she adores her cat and she knows I do cat fostering and rehab work. So I wanted her to know I was donating $1 for every print book sold toFeline Urban Rescue and Rehab.
I teased her that there was a lot she didn’t know about me. Like when I traveled to Siberia for pizza. And visiting Yemen and Somalia.
It always makes me feel good to stand out for things I can control— my hobbies, my opinions, my talents— versus the fact that I walk funny and fall a lot.
While setting up the camera for the video I noticed this cool view of the bottles on my kitchen counter.
My daughter and I both thought the meal was tasty.
As I was unpacking and later preparing it, I noticed the packaging and style of containers/organizing mimicked Hello Fresh. The recipe cards very closely resembled Hello Fresh except that Green Chef color-coded the cards to the bags which I thought was convenient and clever.
But like Hello Fresh, they also had the annoying poorly labeled plastic bags of ingredients that I had to wrestle to open.
Purple Carrot has the best labeling and food storage containers— little plastic jars with lids that I reuse.
Green Chef had a strange combo of prepared ingredients, like tomato cream sauce, yet sent whole almonds that I had to “roughly chop” myself. So the preparation was far simpler than Hello Fresh, but not as quick as Hungryroot, and certainly not as protein-packed as Purple Carrot.
And Green Chef was the only delivery service so far to have coolant from the box leak all over my living room.
I will provide another update once I made the next two meals.
It is 1:15 a.m. and I worked a full shift in QC at the Stitch Fix Bizzy Hizzy where I folded clothes with my quads and knees burning in addition to my lower back/lumbar region.
Sometimes the pain wears me down, grinds at me, gnaws; and other times—like today—it fatigues me but it does not impact my day, a certain resignation comes over me.
So here I am, sipping a beverage, rubbing CBD arthritis cream on my lower body and fretting that I can’t find my coaster.
Barbell Apparel, the company that sold me my #BestStrong Nick Best Strongman “Age is Just a Number” t-shirt just called me an inspiration on Facebook!
In the random Parisian PhoenixPublishing news department:
I gave my therapist a copy of my novel, coincidentally author copy #8 which is one of my favorite numbers, and I wrote in it something like, “Thank you for being one of the people who gave me the confidence and courage to publish this.” He was touched by the gesture in a way I did not anticipate.
I have been spending several hours a day mapping, drafting, and uploading content to ParisianPhoenix.com. It’s slow going because there are so many branches of this business in my head that I have to translate to the web.
Angel Ackerman 