Health update: Liverwurst for medical purposes

This is another in my ongoing series about life with cerebral palsy, a disability no one I know seems to understand.

I have eaten thousands of extra calories this weekend. I can’t stop myself. My weight has hit an all-new, all-time high and I am deeply ashamed of my behavior.

I wrote my primary care physician an email midday Thursday after I called out sick from work, but before I slept 12+ hours. I told him: I know you don’t have the answers regarding my cerebral palsy and its long term effect. I know I walk funny and that has caused arthritis type issues in my hip, my SI joint specifically. I understand from working with my chiropractor (Nicole Jensen, Back In Line) who used to be a physical therapist that the instability in my lower body, especially as I compensate when I am pain, comes from these complications. But the only thing that helps the pain is the CBD creams I get online— Charlotte’s Web and CBD Medic specifically.

I have 2-6 bad days a month, usually a couple every two weeks, reinforcing the idea that my late 40-something menstrual cycle is compounding issues. I only get cramps in my back, but I’m also experiencing pain at ovulation.

And it’s bad pain. Just like all my other pain. All in my lower back.

My new gynecologist listened to my complaints of long-term anemia (which makes me too weak to properly deal with all these other struggles), heavy bleeding, pain every two weeks and massive blood clots exiting my body, and prescribed a couple ultrasounds.

The results have been in for almost two weeks and I can see them but I don’t understand them but they did find things, even if not large and scary, but internal organs are small.

I told him, I work with a personal trainer three times a week, and except for stress eating, I eat well and take all my vitamins. I even scheduled my upcoming follow-up bloodwork.

So which doctor do I need to talk to because my schedules anemia follow up is Nov. 2, and I would like to know if any of this can be treated and/or how permanent it is and/or will it get worse?

Meanwhile, my blind friend Nan and I visited Park Avenue Market, one of our favorite places. We both order liverwurst from the deli.

The man slicing our meat, who knows us at this point, comments that he doesn’t know how people can eat liverwurst.

I told him I don’t even like it. It is a little nasty, but that this liverwurst is better than off-the-rack liverwurst. That I’m not a big meat eater and I struggle with getting enough iron as I have a history of anemia. With the right cheese, it’s not so bad, especially with lettuce and good bread.

It’s inexpensive— so if I get sick of it I feed it to the dog and the dog loves me.

He laughed.

“So, you’re buying liverwurst for medicinal purposes?” he remarked.

Saturday rumination—how do I move forward with athletic aspirations?

I woke. My birds started chirping about 6:30 a.m. due to the light that creeps around the edges of my black-out curtains.

I had coffee, started some laundry and dishes and came up to clean the bird cages and touch up my room.

The lack of activity is causing more discomfort in my S1 joint. It makes me think about how my awkward gait from cerebral palsy might be destroying what fitness I have. For a while, I was quite athletic.

The issue is on my left side. It started when I started working more or less full time at my retail job which was a few months after I broke my ankle.

I wonder if I will ever be able to fulfill my dream of running a 5k or if my body just can’t handle it.

After I broke my hand, I started weight training to regain strength. I added cardio and walks of 2-4 miles a day (in addition to working on my feet/walking a mile an hour at the cafe) when my weight became an issue.

Life has changed— and my job leaves me sedentary, the gym is closed and I just don’t seem to have the energy to work out at home.

But before I started working so many hours, I was muscular and my back rarely hurt. Only twice a year or so when I “threw” my lower back out.

And sometimes I did that sneezing or standing up from a chair.

Just something to think about— how to rebuild a strong body from an aching one. Or do I attribute it to my age and move on…